Taking A Ride On The Big Green Tractor

The cowboy jumps on the big green tractor and holds a hand out to my precious little boy, who excitedly jumps aboard. He laughs as they drive over the undeveloped acres and begs for another turn. The cowboy shouts down to me and asks if it's all right. The winds are picking up and I feel the chill coming over me but I nod with approval. I wave at my son and he blows me a kiss.

When he returns with my very happy boy, I thank him with a smile. The cowboy nods for me to come over. I raise my eyebrow curiously and walk towards him. He gives a little wink and offers his hand to me. I laugh and shake my head. But this redneck romeo is very persistent. The look on his face said come on. I sigh and giggle as I take his hand. I sit on his lap and he starts to go. The tractor made a sudden jolt and I throw my arms around him laughing. I shiver, but I don't care. My arms are wrapped around the man I love.

When we return to the barn, I say to him, "Well now I can't hold that over your head anymore. I got my tractor ride. Thank you."

He says with his dashing smile, "Ahh... but it wasn't sunset." He winks at me and I blush, giggling. How could I not love this man.

Holiday Eating

What can I truly say about holidays in the winter? Be prepared to settle in for extra pounds. Me, I love food. I love cooking for crowds and I absolutely love it when I am requested to make certain dishes. However, most of the requests are desserts. This thanksgiving I made the traditional Red Astoria Cake, along with bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers and a very tasty chicken buffalo dip.

As I sit enjoying the football game settling my overstuffed belly, my aunt says to me. "Leanna, what's wrong with you?" and laughs. I am completely confused. Then she teases, "Scott made me come over here and get a piece of your pecan pie."

OMG! I forgot about the special request I receive from my uncle every year. The only dessert I ever see him eat is pecan pie. I had promised to always make it and now... I let him down. Haha!

Well dear uncle, be prepared. Pecan pie is on the menu for Christmas just for you!

Mixed Emotions

How can I be so miserable yet extremely happy?
It's crazy how life's curve ball can throw a wrench in a perfectly wonderful day with just one word. Or as I sit here feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, a wonderful text comes in and I beam. I guess we are meant to feel the thrill of the roller coaster good or bad. I just wish it wasn't almost daily. It would be nice to breathe as one does on vacation (most of the time).

Video Game Fun

An enchanting evening filled with... video games. Yes, video games.
I am laughing as I watch and listen to my boyfriend trying to play the games we just purchased. The sound effects coming from him is more entertaining than the game itself. I am filled with hysterics as he tells bumblebee "no go this way."
I'm thinking, when did we get a virtual Wii with voice command? Ha!
I know I will miss dancing, but this is entertaining for the long cold nights ahead of us. I never thought I would have this much fun watching and playing video games.

The Draw of the Spider

Sitting on the floor of my dining room, I continued to wipe off the wet grout that was on the tiles. I saw something move from the corner of my eye and I turned to see what it was. A spider. It wasn't a tiny spider but it wasn't a daddy long legs either. My guess is the belly was the size of two peas. It looked pretty hairy from what I could see and I wondered if it was a wolf spider. I looked in the corner and saw a pair of tennis shoes and the broom. I grabbed a shoe as the spider sat about 4 feet from me. I grabbed the second shoe and prepared myself to kill it. It hadn't moved the entire time of my plotting. I threw the first shoe and missed the spider. It stretched up on it's eight legs and I swore it showed me it's fangs as it darted right for me. I screamed and threw the second shoe and missed. I stood up as the spider still ran my way and I grabbed the broom and began slamming it down on the spider, screaming from the top of my lungs with every hit. After four strikes it wasn't moving. I laughed a trembling laugh as my heart beat hard in my chest.

"I got you," I said as I stood catching my breath.

Waking Up With A Smile

Though my nights seem long and restless without the love of my life snuggled in next to me, I manage.

I had a dream that was rather strange and I wish I could recall it. It seemed like a video game and that I was racing against the clock. When I woke, I opened my eyes and snuggled closer to the body pillow that has become my comfort. I haven't been awake enough to start missing my beau when I hear his voice clearly in my ear. "I love you, Lyana."

It felt as if he were right there and I smiled, hugging my pillow tighter. I can't wait to be wrapped in his arms again. To feel his breath on my neck. To hear his sweet pillow talk whispering in my ear. Hopefully while I am waiting I will continue to hear his voice in my head. It helps to pass the time.

Embarrassing Moments

Living with a little boy allows you to be yourself without the worry of embarrassment. No one will catch you while you are singing off key. Except for the poor bird who heard you sing and smacked hard against the window, falling to a quick death. I wish I could blame it on the wind, but yeah... No. It was definitely my horrid singing voice. But I will continue to sing in my home while no one is watching. Except for my precious five yr old who says I sing so beautiful. If he only knew.

There's also the convenience of letting out a belch the would put "Ogre" from "Revenge of the Nerds" to shame. Yeah, well sometimes that's just not something you should do. I had burping contests with my five year old son and we would sit at the kitchen table laughing.
During a get together at my house I walked into the kitchen and let out a pretty good one in front of my new boyfriend without thinking. Then I realized what I had done and you could say the house could have caught fire from my embarrassment. I laughed. The look on his face was priceless.

So living with a five year old boy has changed some of those lady like qualities I possess. But it's also nice to just be silly and relaxed. Hopefully I won't start blowing air anytime soon.

A Super Star Moment

I never realized the impression I make on the children in the elementary school I work. I tease them constantly when they hand me their bag of apples they need opened.
I say "Oh thank you. I am so hungry." and walk away with a smile.
"Hey! Those are my apples!" and I laugh and hand them back opened and ready to eat. They laugh and now they tease back.

With Halloween around the corner each child wants to tell me what they are going to be. They want hugs and to just chat. When we go out on recess they beg for me to play tag or football or just walk with me and tell me things that excite them. These children make me enjoy what I do.

Now that I have deviated from my original post, it's time to focus.

I walked into Village Inn with my boyfriend for a scrumptious breakfast dinner when I heard a little boy say "She works at my school in the lunch room!" I turned to see this first grader with wide eyes and jumping up and down excitedly. I felt like a superstar at that moment.
I smiled and introduced myself to his father. I asked him for his name and told him to make sure he told me Hi in the lunchroom. He is now one of my favorite tag buddies at recess.

A Dairy Farm Experience

A day at the dairy farm with one hundred Kindergartners is a day full of memories to be made. The excitement of running out into the pumpkin patch and picking out a pumpkin. The thrill of riding on the wagon behind the tractor. Making silly faces while sticking heads into the wooden cutouts. Petting cows, goats, pigs, chicks, bunnies and chasing roosters, chickens and ducks. Bottle feeding a calf was also a big hit. They laughed amongst friends and constantly hugged the teachers and parents while telling a wild adventure they just experienced.

The day was cold but their happy little faces kept me warm. I love helping and encouraging these boys and girls. It's the love I received back that blew me away.

On the bus ride back to the school one precious little boy fell asleep on my lap and my son lay against him and fell asleep as well.
These boys and girls make my heart warm even in the coldest weather. How could we ever miss out on opportunities like these.

Waking Up To Love

It's a wonderful feeling to wake wrapped in the arms of the one you love. The light shines in his eyes and a warm smile crosses his face. He says, "You are so beautiful." and kisses you softly. Your heart quickens its pace and chills travel through your body when his fingers lightly glide down your back. Your hand rests on his cheek feeling the warmth as your kiss deepens. He stops suddenly and looks into your eyes and says, "I am in love with you."

This is the greatest moment of being in love. This is the moment I will cherish throughout my life. This is my experience of love and I never want to lose it.

Turning Tables

Why is it that when the tables are turned, you aren't greeted respectfully?

It is very sad that my son, who is five years old, experienced his parents separating. Even worse that he had to deal with many potential step-moms in the first four months of the split. But when my ex finally chose to settle with one, my son was the first to tell me. He loved her from the start and that made me happy. Don't get me wrong, I was extremely jealous that my son found another woman to draw pictures for and to share hot chocolate with. It seems things I held close hoping was just ours, he now shared with her. He began loving her and doing things with her, ready to see her every weekend. I became just mom. I dealt with it and never let him see that it hurt me. As long as he is happy, I can live with it.

The point I am trying to make is that I finally found someone that I am deeply in love with and I introduced my son to him. My son loves spending time with my new beau and begs for him to come over every night. (Another reason I could be jealous, though I am not.) He mentioned him once to his father and felt his father's wrath. How do I know this? My son told me. And I believe him because of the very sad look on his face.
He said, "Oh no. I won't mention you or 'boyfriend" anymore. Daddy gets mad."
Wow. Should a child really have to hide what he enjoys when his father has already married another? I don't think so.

It's too bad there are people in this world who want to punish the one who left them. Not caring that they are hurting the children stuck in the middle. It is not their fault and they should be able to express themselves freely.

Laughed Until I Cried

This is a song so close to my heart. It is truly the one thing I wanted out of life. I understand hardships, but we aren't meant to dwell on them. We are meant to live and laugh.

I am finding that I can laugh for endless hours at the silliest of things. From moments of poofing to bumping heads to pretending to be an ass. Yes, watching Bachelor Party definitely brought back memories for me. But it was the conversation prior to watching it that had me laughing until I cried. Now I want that always and forever.

These are the moments we are intended to have in our lifetime. I plan to live, laugh, and love for the rest of my life.