October 29, 2011

It's Saturday morning and the sun is shining bright. I giggle. Tonight is date night and my boyfriend has kept every detail of his plan secret. Except, that I need to wear a dress because he is going to wear a shirt and tie. This left me in much panic. I'm not a "dress" kinda girl. I bought a few to wear out on our dates. The dresses still have the price tags on them. I thought about the dresses in my closet.

"Oh no!" I clapped a hand over my mouth. "I need to buy a dress!" Those just aren't the right kind of dress for a formal event.

I jumped out of bed and looked at my chaotic schedule for the day. I wanted to scream. I have to teach cycle until 10:30, go to a baby shower at 1:00(I just realized I forgot to buy that gift!) and then dinner by 4:00. Now, I have to buy not only a dress but a baby shower gift as well.
I really haven't been planning very good lately!

Oh my! How could I procrastinate like this?! I'm not a procrastinator!

I teach my class and find myself stuck in great conversation when I looked up at the clock. It's almost 11:00. Yikes! I gather my gym bag and say goodbye quickly and lock the door to the cycle room. I rush out to my car and drive as fast as I can without risking a ticket. I rush into the house, jump in the shower and quickly dress. No time for makeup now. It's almost 11:30. The mall is where I end up buying a dress. My boyfriend calls meanwhile and asks me to a quick lunch. He buys me a pair of heels before I dash off to buy a gift for the mother to be. It's so hard to leave him, but I have to get to that baby shower. I call my aunt to let her know I'm running late. I cannot believe I have fallen so far behind in schedule. This is crazy!

Finally, I make it to the shower and it is a blast! We sit chatting about baby Jack and the joys of pregnancy. Suddenly, the conversation has shifted to me. I plead with my aunts to keep the focus on the mother to be and she says "Oh no, take the lime light. I don't like it!"

"Ughh," I think silently. Neither do I.

"So, it's a fancy restaurant?" My aunt asks.

"I would guess so. I don't know much, just that we are going to dinner and climbing stairs because I had to buy a short heeled shoe," I laughed. I know what they are thinking.

"He's going to propose." Soft giggles fill the room. I feel my cheeks getting hotter.

"No he's not," I said, rolling my eyes. Secretly, I hoped he proposes. "He told me that he was going to start taking me out and surprising me. We are going to haunted houses after dinner."

"Uh huh," she said, smirking.

"Whatever, I'm not getting my hopes up." I looked at the clock. "Oh no! I'm gonna be late!"

Quickly, I dashed out the door and jumped in my car after saying a few goodbyes. I rushed home and straight into the bathroom to get myself ready. In the rush at the mall, I had bought three dresses. I really wanted to "wow" him. I am ready with three minutes to spare and I sigh with relief.

He walks into the room and I melt. He is absolutely handsome. We both stand smiling for a moment and then he walks up to me me.

"Wow," he says. "You are beautiful." Before I could say anything, his lips brush over mine and I am putty.

He moves back a step and I can see the lost puppy look in his eyes. My cheeks burn and I giggle.
He takes my hand and walks with me out to the car. He opens my door for me. A perfect gentleman. And we are off to the restaurant.

Dinner was enjoyable with having the perfect company across from me. The food was pretty good too. We talked, laughed and never stopped smiling throughout dinner.
After paying for our meal, we walked back to the car, again he opened my door for me. Before I slid in, he gave me another one of those heart melting kisses.
This man has captured my soul. Maybe one day soon, he will propose.

Date Night

Date night is something that is important in keeping the spark alive in any relationship. Everyone needs time to create memories in this busy fast lane life. A chance to laugh and release the everyday stress that piles on like a plague. A chance to fall or stay in love is the most wonderful part of a lifetime. To last a lifetime, date night is a necessity. Without date night, a couple would become roommates just passing by with information and instruction on what lies ahead for the day, week, month or even the year.
All relationships need work to stay alive and last forever. It doesn't mean it has to be weekly, it should happen once a month in the very least.
So, what is there to do on date night? There's dinner and a movie, dancing, socializing with other couples, bowling, a trip to the ice cream parlor, a baseball game, or a trip to the ice rink.
Perhaps trying something new together. It's interesting to do something together that excites your significant other even though it's not your favorite thing to do. Giving your partner a chance to show you a side of them you may not know. Who knows, maybe you will find out something about him/her that you never realized. It's a selfless act that shows compassion for one another. Maybe a brand new spark will ignite on date night.

My Sturdy Rock

It seems a million years past since I last visited this site. It seems only yesterday that I sat here writing intently for you. I cannot imagine how fast time flys. I cannot imagine not writing for you. I am lost without you, dear reader. I need you. I want you to need me.

My rock. My sturdy rock. I have balanced a life on my sturdy rock. Now is not the time to abandon my sturdy rock. I need you. I hope you need me.

Yet abandon is just what I did. I left you out in the hot blazing sun. I left you in the thunderous rains. I left you freezing on the snow-covered ground. I bandoned you my sturdy rock. How could I do this to my sturdy rock? How could you trust me now my sturdy rock?

Finding the light

My heart yearns to speak as the tears slide down my cheeks. A crack so slight, it is barely noticed, has begun to form in my heart. The fire from my throat is building. I cannot breathe. If only I could mend the ache. I'm dying inside. There is no hope.


A new sense of loneliness is emerging from deep within.


NO! I scream.


Go away! Happiness is right here! I shout.


But yet I feel the creeping of exile climbing into every fiber of my being.


I can't let this evil take over.


I push against it.


I feel the light behind me.


I push harder.


It's getting brighter.


I'm exhausted.


I want to fall.


But I can't.


I won't let the darkness swarm over me again.


Where is the sunshine when you need it?

It is buried deep within my soul.

We are walking along the sandy beach towards the shoreline. The only thought in my mind is him. The love of my life. I look up at the silvery full moon and sigh. He squeezes my hand lightly and I look at him. I smile instantly and feel my heart flutter. His smile is amazing and his eyes are full of love. I trust him completely. He stops and pulls me close to him. My heart beats faster. I run my free hand along his jawline resting my hand on his cheek. Our eyes are locked on each other. His arms wrap around me, his eyes never leaving mine. Our smiles still glowing bright. I know this is love. True love. A one of a kind love. I don't care if we never move from this spot. Standing right here, right now is all that matters. This is our moment. It is breathtaking.
I thank the Lord for the happiness I feel and have faith our love will always be strong.

Go Away Heat

I wake up and look at the weather report for the day. 106. Oh my, not another day over one hundred. How many more days will we find ourselves in this scorching heat? This summer began in the middle of May and has decided to continue now into September. I love summer, I truly do. But it's time to find the upper eighty to lower ninety degree temps.
Outside at recess, it feels like a sauna. Being out in this heat is draining, making it hard to study. People are grouchy and I'm always tired. I miss bike rides to the park and walks in the neighborhood. But I won't risk it until this heat goes away.
I am down on my knees, begging for some relief from this heat. I am begging for a wild thunderstorm to roll through and cool us down. Though the humidity would be sticky, the rain would feel wonderful.

Have you ever woke up and said as of today whatever is meant to be will be?
That troubling thought pops out of your head and a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulder. You smile bright and see life in a whole new way.
Realizing that it is impossible to control every event in your life is no longer a burden. Yes, some things will weigh heavy on your heart at times. But not like it had been. Letting life flow freely when possible make it easier to put concerns in the back of your mind.
Now you can focus on the little things that have been calling your attention. Now you can read that book collecting dust on the shelf or start a new project.
This is where I find myself these days. Living as I can without letting things out of my control take over me. It's time to start tackling those tasks and dreaming of accomplishing my long term dreams.
Life is full of endless possibilities and I want to reach for the stars.

A Birthday Surprise

Today is a special day for my little boy. It's his sixth birthday! This past weekend, I wanted to surprise him with a special birthday. (Who am I kidding, I do it every year!) This year would be the year he finally would celebrate at All Star Sports. He begged throughout the year to have his birthday party there. And I finally caved.
Three days before the party day I told him I had a birthday surprise for him.
"Yay! All Star Sports!" He shouts.
I couldn't believe he automatically assumed that's where we were going. That was just too easy! I replied with a sly smile, "No. I thought you told me you wanted a gymnastics party at the Y."
"No. Gymnastics is for girls mom."
"Oh, no. I'm sorry baby," I said looking glum. "It's too late to get a refund now."
He sighs. "It's okay mom. I will go to gymnastics."

He bought it. Hook, line and sinker.
At school, I made the mom's of his friends promise me not to say a thing. They stayed silent while telling me I was cruel. Whatever! It's going to be a surprise that will have him excited when he finds out. Also, a reason to remember how surprised he was in years to come. Cruel... nah. Ornery... yes.

Saturday arrives and he is still clueless. We hop in the car and his excitement is building. We drive by the sports place and he says, "Look they're open now."
"They are," I say smiling. "Let's drive in and see how long they're open."
He watches intently out the window at the huge building. I'm sure he's thinking about the go karts and arcade games inside. As we pull away from the front I see his smile slip away. He really wants this party. We pull into a stall next to the exit and he looks at me with curiosity.
"What if I told you you're birthday party is here," I said grinning.
He looked surprised.
I nodded.
"Yes!" He shouts looking up to the sky shaking his fists in the air. "Hooray!"

Monday Morning Blues

It's Monday. Where do I begin? A fabulous weekend with the children makes it hard to get out of bed and get ready for work. I'm not ready to roll out of bed and begin another hectic week, but I must.
A morning cup of coffee while watching the clock tick too quickly. I have an hour and counting down before school starts. An hour and I will be running to get all that I can accomplished before it's time for work. I stretch my arms and try to motivate, but it's such a challenge this morning. Mondays are the worse.
The weekend came and went too quickly. All I have left is a pile of chores and an endless list of tasks to finish before week's end.
I keep my head up and think that the weekend is five days away and it will come fast. Maybe if I concentrate on catching up loose ends, Friday will be here in the blink of an eye.
Hurry up work week, I'm ready for family time this weekend.

People and Guns

Normally I would keep my composure about people owning guns. But once again, I feel an absolute distrust in the use of guns. They are supposed to be used for hunting and protection. But why should we have the need to protect ourselves with a gun? Because in most cases, the person coming to harm you is going to use one.
I have never felt comfortable around them. I have never shot one. I never want to. It was fun to think that one day I may go wild hog hunting. But would I ever do it? Probably not. Guns scare me. People with guns scare me. The moment that someone brings up the topic of guns, I get nervous. It was suggested that I should own one, but honestly what would I do in a time of crisis? If I were to aim the gun at a person that is trying to kill me, would I be able to pull the trigger? I'm not sure. I just hope and pray that day never comes.
My question, is why? Why is it that when tempers fly people say crazy things? They say they want to see you dead or wish you were dead. One day they plan to make sure you're dead. After awhile you begin to dismiss what they are saying because they have said it numerous times. Yet, in the back of your mind you are still concerned. Then one day, they make good on those crazy things they said repeatedly and it's too late for you.
So, why do we feel that guns are a great thing to own when there are people out there buying guns who should never have one?
Life is short enough.

The Hectic Schedule

Life has been crazy around here since school began. I have a monthly planner sitting in front of me. It's full of school events and my schedule to teach. It's also full of appointments and birthdays. It's not something I had ever planned on doing, but it's something I must have. I never wanted to be that person who had to look at a planner to figure out my week ahead, let alone each day. But with having three part time jobs, PTA, volunteer work, and normal scheduled events, like the dentist, I can't remember everything! The great news, my time with my son is still available. Luckily, he doesn't see how much running I do in an entire day. For all I know, he thinks I sit at home and play the Wii while he's in school!
Why do I have three part time jobs rather than one full time? That's easy. I want to do so many things in life and I have the time to do them. Plus I love each place of employment. Exercising is a healthy way to motivate me, so why not teach it? Creating gift baskets while listening to my Ipod is relaxing and fun. It can be very challenging getting those bows tied, trust me! And then my final job is working at the elementary school. It's also where I volunteer. My son lights up when I enter his classroom and that makes me happy. I love helping him learn as well as helping the students in his classroom. I love working with children. I love listening to their stories and encouraging them to learn something new. One day I hope to finish getting my Associates Degree and become a substitute teacher and one day possibly having my own classroom.

Unfinished Projects

With school in session, where do we begin to finish projects that have been waiting since the end of the last school year? I wish I could say there is a simple solution, but there isn't.
When summer begins, My family is ready for activities that are not scheduled. Like swimming and amusement parks. There's cousins to see and play dates with the neighbors or friends from school. How about a picnic or maybe just a day inside watching those favorite cartoons or shows you neglect during the school year. Perhaps the movie theater or bowling alley. Even those wonderful vacations or seeing those distant relatives.
I'm guilty of enjoying the summer. I would rather play in the sun than do something productive. Especially when my family is around. Outdoor barbecues, swimming, bowling, camping and fishing (sadly it was too hot this year!) are just a few of our favorite activities.
Whatever our excuse is for getting behind on projects, it leaves us with an overwhelming sense to get started again. I am blessed with two hours of free time each day whether it is morning or afternoon. It's time to get back in the swing of things and see what I can accomplish in these two hours of silence I have each day. With such a long chore list I should keep busy until next summer!

Bowling Spectacular

The last couple of weeks before school begins my son and I are tired of doing the same old thing. We swam at least four times during the week and almost every evening. I decided the week before school began that I wanted to take my son some place different. I called the bowling alley and found they had great summer specials. Why had I waited so long to take him? A seven dollar special bought us two hours of bowling and lunch. It only took me minutes to make up my mind. We spent the entire two hours laughing. He did a great job without the bumper rails, but decided he wanted them after the first game. He listened as I explained how to throw the ball and where to aim. He almost beat me, bowling well over one hundred three out of four games.
It was a blast! I can't wait to go bowling again!

A Sweet Ride!

During my time searching for a car to replace the old tired one, I saw a red with white striped Mustang GT for sale. All I ever wanted was to test drive an American Muscle car. Of course I prefer the Chevrolet Camaro, but would I dare test drive it? Oh no! But this Mustang was irresistible. I just had to hear it. The dealership handed me the keys and I giggled with delight. I put the key in the ignition and started this baby up. I drooled instantly as the engine purred. After buckling up I shifted the Mustang into drive and barely pressed on the gas. It knocked me all the way back in my seat and I let up on the gas, giggling. There was more power than I accounted for. I looked back at my son and he was in awe. I laughed.
I coasted out of the parking lot and out onto the street towards the highway. Once I hit the highway, I pressed on the gas. Instantly, she, the Mustang, took off. Unbelievable! I loved driving this car but I knew it was nothing but trouble if I bought it. It's too easy to speed and that's what I would do! I drove it back to the dealership and sat in the car listening to the engine idle for five minutes before I surrendered the key.
Sometimes at night I reminisce on that rush I felt driving the Mustang GT. Remembering the ease I felt behind the wheel. Wishing I could drive it everyday. A girl can dream can't she?

Cardio Certification

It was a sleepless night. I tossed and turned dreading the day ahead, Cardio and Step certification. After eight long weeks of training, going over each routine, listening to the beat of the music, finding the top of the phrase, learning the proper count, breaking down the count, cuing at just the right time and teaching it to others in training, now I have to show this to the director.
My nerves are on end and every time I fall asleep, I wake up thirty minutes later hearing myself counting. I cannot wait for tomorrow to come and go. My stomach is nauseous. I'm terrified I will not pass. I knew the steps. I knew the count. But with rattled nerves, I know I will forget.
I look at the clock. Time is moving slowly. I shut my eyes again trying to clear my mind. I need my rest because it will be a very long day. A day full of routines and practice. I clear my mind except for a song so sweet. Finally sleep is coming. I can feel it.
I jump up and look at the clock. Thirty minutes before my alarm. I might as well get up and get ready. I spent twenty minutes practicing the routines. Making sure to cue at the correct time. My confidence is building.
When I arrive at the studio, I'm happy to see many others are quite as terrified as me. The day is going smooth and time drags on. I'm tired from the practice and ready to take the practical, which is what they call our test. We still had hours to go before we can feel some relief. Right before lunch we are told the new routine that we will be tested on. It was different than we had studied repeatedly in training. I lost my appetite as well as my confidence.
After lunch we practiced a little more and learned some new routines. And then finally, the director announced it was time for the practical.
I took advantage of time by practicing until it was my turn, leaving me tired rather than nervous. I walked up to the director and smiled as I waited for the top of the phrase. I counted, I cued, I continued to smile. I went through the entire process in only a few minutes. She looked down at the paper, feeling out my scores. When she finished, she smiled and said to me, "YOU PASSED!" Hip Hip Hooray! I giggled.

The Special Day

My son and I love to have our special day. This is a day that only he and I can do activities together. Sometimes it's a picnic outside and plastic flutes filled with Sparkling cider. Sometimes it's a pizza with the works from Papa Johns playing Extreme Sports on the Wii. Another time we chose the movie Sandlot and made S'mores.
Whatever we chose for activities, we found this special day to be ours. This special day we have been doing once a week for almost two years.
My precious boy is beginning first grade this year and I want to make sure we don't forget to include our special day with the busy schedules that lay ahead of us. I feel that having a special day with my son is extremely important. A time for us to have fun without the stress of homework (for both of us!) and the day to day routines. Having a special day insures us quality time together. A chance to make memories. A chance for happiness when the world around us is overwhelming. I want my son to realize how much I care about him and how much I love him. With this special day which we call "Mommy and Bubby Day," I feel confident that our bond will continue to be strong.

Preparing For School

What an exciting day! The day before school begins. The last day to play all day. The last day to be wild and silly with my friends. The day I get to meet the teacher and see my classroom. The day I get to see my school supplies and pack them into my backpack. This is the longest day ever!
Time drags on, I'm too excited. I guess I should get my supplies ready for school. I looked at the list checking off my supplies. I sharpened my number two pencils and put it into my supply box. I packed everything I had into my backpack. It was almost too tight. I could barely zip it. That only took a minute or two.
I guess I could pick out what to wear on my first day. Should I make an impression wearing something nice or should I just wear play clothes and plan to get dirty? Will the other kids make fun of me if I dress nice or silly? My mom insists I should wear something nice. She wants to take pictures on my first day. She picks out my school clothes and hangs them on the back of my bedroom door. A brand new outfit she picked just for school. Too bad I didn't get brand new shoes to go with it.
A restless night lies ahead of me as the thrilling dreams play in my head. I'm terrified yet excited. I have a million questions. Will I know what to do or where to go? Will I like my teacher? Will my teacher like me? Will I make new friends? Will I find my old friends in my classroom again? What is for lunch? When is recess?
Yawn... I'm tired but I cannot sleep. If I sleep the night will go faster and the first day of school will be here. Yawn... I close my eyes tight but questions keep coming. Will I get to go to the library? What about P.E.? Oh I wonder if I have music this year! How do I make my mind quit talking! Maybe I should count until I fall asleep. 1... 2... Yawn... 3... 4... 5...Yawn... 6...ZZzzzzz

A Cycle Reunion

Recently our cycle room has been under renovation. For five weeks I didn't teach a single cycle class. Though I did teach Pilates and Muscle Pump, it didn't compare to cycling. My feet never raced as fast as they could and I never felt the energy flow strong. I missed cycling. I couldn't wait for the doors to reopen. Many nights, I sat in front of my computer thinking of class designs. How to be a tougher instructor as I waited patiently. And then the day came. The Grand Opening was here and I felt excitement rush throughout my body. I had a game plan to go in and rock the class I taught. I had a vision of sweat dripping off the participants and I giggled with delight.

Finally the day arrived and I went over my notes. I wanted to make sure everything was in order. I wanted it to be perfect.
I grabbed the keys and unlocked the door to the cycle room. I played with the lights and turned on the fans. I sat down and put on my cycle shoes. A couple of participants walked in and I greeted them. My heart began to beat faster. The excitement was building in me as I searched for the microphone and plugged in my Ipod. I looked at the clock. Ten minutes until I teach. More people entered the cycle room. A mother and her daughter, two faces I hadn't seen, walked in and looked at the bike with curiosity. They were new to cycle. After setting up their bikes and chatting freely, I walked back to my bike and adjusted it to fit me. I looked at the clock. I was giddy, it was time to begin.
I took them through the mountains, climbing and climbing. Sweat pouring off me and my heart beating fast and hard. We were fifteen minutes into the class and I realized how out of shape I was. We had forty-five minutes left. I had to make this time move faster so I began telling stories and asking if they were ready for school to start. Finally half an hour had passed and my legs kept going. As I talked, time began to move faster. We climbed another mountain and back down. Fifteen minutes left and I knew we were going to make it to the end. I didn't remember sweating this much in a cycle class. I took off my hat. I glanced in the mirror wanting to laugh. My hair was matted to my forehead and I could feel the sweat trickling down my back. I was drenched by the end of class. It felt wonderful when we slowed down and stretched. They too looked relieved for the class to end. I smiled at them and they smiled back. It was a great ride.
After class I went home, changed into my pajamas, ate dinner and then laid on the couch. I was fast asleep.

Yes! Happy Graduation! Writing school is complete and I am so... clueless! Where do I go from here? I have many stories that I have written and sent out into the publishing world. Discouragement sets in as I receive rejection letters. But I cannot give up. These short stories aren't as exciting as the novel series I am writing. That is where my heart waits patiently for it's chance to write that synopsis and start the search for a editor/publisher or better yet an agent. The synopsis should be the easiest thing to write after all I know my story inside and out. However it's the selling agent. Finding the peaks and characters most important can be grueling without knowing what exactly the agent wants to hear. With that said I am researching the synopsis and hoping that soon it will click inside my mind.

Just the other day I reached for my journal, opening it up to look at my last entry. It was three months ago that I wrote in it. So much had happened in the three months I didn't write and that saddened me. So many special moments missed. Now I won't be able to look back on them and laugh. I didn't want to stop writing, but I hit a peak time in my life that kept me from enjoying the things I loved most. Even now as I write this blog, I am stretching thin trying to figure out what I should write about. Once I was full of ideas and now I'm passionless. I let the outside world suck me into it's game of trying to keep up with the world. Is that a bad thing? No. I have accomplished lots. But now it's time to find a steady pace and indulge in the one thing that enlivens my soul - writing. I want to feel the passion I once felt and I want to bring it to you. I need to bring it to you, the reader. My vacation has lasted long enough and it's time to get back into the swing of things. How else will I ever get anything published if I simply put it aside?

Out With The Old Car

Recently, I decided that I needed a change in vehicles. My car was a 2003 Mercedes Benz. It had over 100,000 miles on it. Though it was luxury, it wasn't going to last forever and the services it would soon need would hit the checkbook pretty hard. I loved my car, but I couldn't afford it too much longer.
After a long diliberation, I decided to look at the sport utility vehicles. I fell in love with a Chevrolet Equinox until I test drove it. It was the basic model with no bells and whistles and the ride was rough. I would be tired of it in six months. I test drove the Traverse and fell in love. But it was more than my budget would allow me right now.
I no longer wanted the Equinox and I really didn't want a car. But my choices were limited. I tried to talk myself into the Equinox. Telling myself that after a couple of years I could get my Traverse. But who was I kidding? Whatever vehicle I chose, it would be my vehicle for at least five years. I had future plans of marriage and possibly a child. Money would be better spent on my future than a vehicle.
No matter how much I wanted a sport utility vehicle, I knew it was in my best interest to settle with a car. It was a depressing realization at first. I spent hours searching online, looking at body styles and learning about cars and their durability. Searching for the models that were inexpensive to maintain and as close to luxury as possible. No matter what I went with, I knew it wouldn't be as glamorous as my Mercedes. But at least it would be more economical. No longer would I have to use premium gasoline or synthetic oil. If something needed fixed, I had a choice of places I could take it, rather than just the dealership. With these pros, how could I stay driving such an expense?
I test drove several cars and found that none rose to my satisfaction except for the Chevy Impala. But still, it wasn't calling me. Until I saw an imperial blue 2008 model. I test drove it and I found comfort. It was a smoother ride than my Mercedes. Plus it had luxury of it's own and a place to hook up my Ipod, a feature that the 2003 Mercedes did not offer. The 2008 Chevrolet Impala was sportier than the newer models and sharp. The best part was that it only had 21,000 miles and a single owner.
When the test drive was over, I sat down at the cubicle and purchased something newer and something blue and I am proud to own this Chevy!

Family Time

Imagine squeezing fifteen people into a medium sized two bedroom apartment for a night of family fun. The ladies are in the tiny kitchen preparing the meat for the charcoal grill just outside the front door. The children are playing with balloons in the living room, squealing with delight as they try not to let the balloons touch the ground. Once the balloon falls, You're Out!
It was stuffy and humid inside, but our laughter filled the now claustrophobic room. We entertained ourselves with conversation and television until dinner was ready.
A pile of hamburgers and hot dogs stacked high on the serving platter and the aroma filled my nose. My stomach growled and my mouth watered as I waited patiently for my turn to fill my plate. It seemed an eternity before I tasted that first bite.
After a meal like this we all must play a game of bowling on the Wii until the children are restless and no longer interested in each other.
It's time to retire to our homes and curl into our beds for a nice heavy sleep until morning, dreaming of the happy and fun time we spent hanging out with our family.

One more hammer, one more nail until the room is complete. The room that was once a writer's dream is now becoming the guest room. The computer has been booted out after a year in it's own room and is being moved to the basement. A more fitting place for collecting dust. A corner that is ignored. With no little fingers dancing along the keys to make the computer hum, there is no need to take up an entire room. It is dark and empty where the computer now lays. The only noise is the low murmur of voices overflowing from up above. The rumbling of feet and tumbling sounds and laughter. Definitely laughter. Why is their no laughter with the computer these days?
The love that once was for the computer, is now excitement for the guest. What is it that this guest has that the computer does not? Why is this guest getting the attention the computer once had?
Questions build but no answers come. Only silence.

Dream A Little Dream

I am sitting in the lounge chair on the back deck of my Victorian style home, letting my fingers dance swiftly over the keys of my laptop, listening to the laughter of the children playing. I look up to see why they are in hysterics. My youngest of two years is running in circles trying to catch the bubbles from the bubble wands. The laughter escaping my precious baby makes me giggle. I can no longer just sit and watch. I close the lid on my laptop, place it on the table and run out to gather the little one in my arms. But he runs away from me laughing. A game of chase begins and when I catch him, I tickle him. My older son and daughter come running over to me and join in the tickling game. I am laughing begging them to stop when my husband rides up to the fence on his mare with a smile that melts my heart as it had the first day we met. I cannot take my eyes off him and he doesn't look away from mine. My smile is as bright as it is wide and my heart is bursting with happiness. I am so in love with him and I know he is just as crazy in love with me. Our daughter begs him to give her a ride through the pasture. How could he say no to his precious little girl? I know it's hard for me to say no. I help her over the fence and he helps her onto the horse and off they go. The boys and I play until they return. It's close to supper time. Time to play in the kitchen while my family enjoys the outdoors. I watch them out the kitchen window from time to time. I am so blessed and I thank the good Lord for all that he has done for my family. I couldn't imagine anything more precious and wonderful than the family the Lord has blessed me with. For this I thank the good Lord everyday.

Losing The Dream

A question arose only two nights ago... Where do I see myself in five years?

I tried to imagine where I would be, but my mind drew a blank. My heart beat heavy in my chest and I felt like I was being smothered. My eyes teared up as I tried to imagine my future. It was a simple question and I had no answer.

For the last two days I asked myself, where do I want to be? What is it that I dream? Did I lose my desire to dream?

No, I haven't lost my desire to dream. I just set all of my dreams aside to tackle the tasks in front of me. Then I gained a challenge and then another. As I set forth to conquer my challenges, I left my dreams fading away into the darkness.

This is not me. I am a dreamer. Life is filled with so many opportunities that now I am looking eyes wide open at my present life. I realize now that the challenges I am facing are part of my dreams. And as I conquer these challenges my dreams are closer to me than ever.

So what are those challenges you ask? I wanted to be a group exercise instructor, a writer, and I want to be a teacher .
This summer I have spent most of my time training to be an instructor. With one week to go and a certification, I will have conquered that challenge. I have been researching colleges and programs that I can take that will lead me to my Bachelor's degree. Beginning first with my Associates Degree of course. Today is the first day in many months that I sat down and wrote anything. I will make a goal to write a daily adventure into the unknown from this day forth. After all writing is my passion.

How Do I Begin

How to begin again after such a long break? One I never meant to take. With a life filled with so many chores and a mind full of so many ideas, I haven't had a chance to grab the laptop and write as I love to write. I have much to accomplish in just a month. Though I finish up early in the evening, I find the much desired rest that I need.
Will I write on a daily basis again? Of course! It may just take some time to get me there.
The last assignment for school is in works as well as my last certification for instructing at the gymnasium. One more month until summer, and one more month to sign up to begin studying for my teaching degree.
Will I publish an article? I hope so. I have been working on submissions every moment I can. I have been critiquing many articles that I wrote in the writing course and sending out short stories to magazines. But it is not my true love.
My true love is novel writing. I am pleased to inform you that I haven't given up on my novels. The ideas are still flowing. My romance story, The Director, is getting a face lift starting this week including a name change more fitting for it's story.
Patience is all that I asked as I finish the final stages that leave me tiresome. I will return with a vengeance and a new design for this blog site. That I promise.

Vocation In Life

Have you ever wondered how things change throughout your life? What made you want to have a child or why you chose the job you have?

Seven years ago, I was wrapped up in business affairs with no intentions of having children. My lifestyle just didn't offer opportunity for children, or so I believed. There weren't enough hours in the day to accomplish my work, let alone children with schedules that needed to be followed.

Then one evening when I drifted off into a deep sleep, I dreamed of a little boy laughing, running towards the cabin with a fishing pole in hand. He ran into my arms and hugged me tight. I saw his precious smiling face and I knew he was mine. When I woke, I felt an incredible warmth run through my entire body. My heart felt as if it could burst with love and joy. Then I realized it was just a dream. I longed for that little boy in my dreams.

Within two years, I had a baby boy. From the moment I looked into his grayish blue eyes, work had never been first priority. He was. I wanted him to have a mother who was home to take care of him. Luckily, I was able to stay home with him. I never missed a single moment of his growing life.

When he went to preschool, I helped in his classroom. I did my best to stay away and get house chores done while he was in preschool. When he began all day Kindergarten, I volunteered to be the room parent. It wasn't enough. I now have a job at the elementary school and I volunteer in his classroom three times a week in the afternoon. Now my love had grown deeper. It wasn't just my son that I kept me at the school. It was the all the children and the teachers.

The children are so impressionable at that age that I love helping anytime I can. Now I'm going back to school to become a substitute teacher and eventually have my own classroom. I feel that I could help guide children to a bright and successful future. I long to teach these youngsters and praise them every chance I get. I love to encourage them to be the very best they can be because I believe in them.

I went from a business minded woman who didn't want anything less than a successful company; to a mother who couldn't imagine life without her child; to a mother who wants to make a difference in as many children's future by becoming a teacher.
I believe that I have finally found my vocation in life.

Sweetest Moments

The day was warm and muggy when Karla and Michael set out on their walk. A chance to enjoy the sun's warmth and delightful conversation. They walked to the ice cream store holding hands and smiling at each other. Talking of their dreams and their future. They ordered an ice cream cone each and set back on a journey towards the house when the winds picked up. Karla had the ice cream cone close to her mouth when the wind took control and pushed it into her face. She laughed and pulled the cone away from her face. Michael laughed as he watched her try to clean off the ice cream.

"Let me help," he said and pulled her close to him. She laughed. He smiled at her and said, "You missed a spot." He leaned down and kissed her lips. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him passionately. The ice cream from the cone began to melt down on her hand and she let go. Her cheeks flushed as she gazed into his eyes. Michael's smile widened and he let out a sigh.

He took her hand and they continued their walk back to the house.

The Birthday Fear

I have never felt fear of what could be happening the next day until my boyfriend said, "Oh baby, I have big plans for your birthday." His smile was so wide, the corners of his mouth could have reached his ears. I tried to keep a poker face when I laughed. Inside though, I was screaming "OMG! He's not really going to go through with it, is he?" The hour's are quickly dwindling away and my night will be restless. I will toss and turn the entire night...

If you are curious to know what I fear... it's that big embarrassment that he promised. Though I am positive that he can't pull it off... or can he? What is that big embarrassment going to be?
"I just want to make your birthday as memorable as mine," he said grinning. That grin had orneriness written all over it.
"ACK!" I screamed out.
Here I am trying to study for an exam but my mind is anywhere but focused. How do I get back to my studies? I think for the night I am at a loss.

So sweet cheeks if you are out there listening (and I know you are)... your plan already worked! I am terrified to come home after school! Whatever you were planning you can go ahead and cancel it. My birthday is already memorable. I love you baby.

Now I wonder... did that work? Hahaha! Don't worry, I'm a good sport. And whatever happens, I will love it.

Cold Night Camp

The greatest thing about camping in cold weather is when you have someone to snuggle up next to. I am not one for cold temperatures but sometimes it's fun to put yourself to the test. To see just how well you can handle something that you are not prepared for.

So this weekend, I gave it a try. I spent one very chilling night braving the cold. My chattering teeth stopped when I snuggled next to my beloved. Wrapped in his arms, I felt a warmth surround us. My puppy curled himself up at our feet. I fell asleep easily in our warmth. I tried to prepare myself to "rough it" an entire 24 hours.

To my surprise, I slept longer than I had in a very long time (10 hours). I made it through the night wrapped up tight. Between the puppy keeping my legs warm and my beloved keeping the rest of me warm, I now knew camping for a week in temperatures above 45 degrees was something I could handle.

As long as they had a bathroom!

Blending Families

When two people fall in love and have children from a previous relationship, it can be difficult to combine the two families. Especially when they have just one child a piece and they are close in age.

I have been very blessed that my son loves playing with my boyfriend's daughter and she with him. They are both a joy and laugh almost the entire time they are together. We run into an argument on occasion but that comes with the territory. They are young and used to having complete attention from us. I think it's cute when they try to one up each other.

I never thought that his daughter would try to make my son jealous and at the same time, my son demands that my boyfriend and I seal the deal so that he and his daughter can live with us. I don't know if I were I his shoes I would want that. But then again, maybe having someone to play with other than mom may seem entertaining even if there is a fight every once in awhile.

All I can say is that it feels like family when we are all together and I absolutely love it; Good times and Bad times.

"Study study study," I said and yawned. "No time for sleep."
I went through my playlist and turned on the cycle playlist as I researched the answers for the exam online. I studied until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

"ATP is chemical energy," I mumbled. I opened my eyes and giggled. I studied in my dreams. I yawned and stretched. I slid out of bed and headed into the kitchen to power up the laptop and make a pot of coffee. Two hours before I get my chance to team teach for fifteen minutes. I wanted to be prepared so I wrote out cues on index cards as I listened to the tempo of the music.
My son walked into the kitchen rubbing his sleepy eyes and leaned against me. I wrapped my arm around him and stood up, continuing to cue aloud and made him breakfast. He was silent the entire time. After a good hour of practicing the four songs, I felt confident that my teaching would be successful.

After school, my son wanted to ride his bike without training wheels. I watched him gain confidence as he pedaled faster, balancing himself. I was so proud and began to relax. I grabbed my study guide and as I began to read, I heard my son shout out "and hover!"
I looked up at him and laughed as he continued to say it in almost perfect count.

The Touch of the Light Switch

I woke up and flipped the light switch. I jumped as the light bulb burst. I laughed and went into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. I flipped the light switch and again the light flashed bright and then went out. I shrugged my shoulders and turned on the light over the stove and made a pot of coffee. I inhaled deeply taking in the coffee's aroma and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. I flipped the switch and a bright flash again!
In a matter of thirty minutes, I managed to flip three light switches and watch three bright flashes. I was afraid to touch another light switch for the entire day.

The love of a child is oh so sweet. I couldn't imagine life without my son. This morning he misunderstood what my mother and I were speaking about. She tried to give me the money back that I put in her gas tank when I borrowed her car. I told her no, keep it. She handed it to my son and told him that if I won't take it then he can have it. Of course I was frustrated and told him to put it in his money bank.

On the way home, I looked back at him. He seemed upset.
"Bubby, what's wrong?"
"I want you to have the money," he said.
"Why?"
"I want you to have it so you can pay to get married."

At that moment I wanted to laugh but I didn't. I smiled and told him, "Thank you but keep it. You may want to buy something with it later."

Yesterday the temperatures reached up near eighty degrees. It was warm and the sun was inviting us to stay out in the yard. So we did.

Two days ago, my son played with his cars and the puppy chewed on his rawhide while my boyfriend and I raked up the leaves. Something I should have done last fall. The sun began to set and we had filled up the five bags we had. It was time to quit for the night.

Yesterday, I finished up the leaves and began picking up broken branches and sticks that covered the yard. The sun was still out and I still felt energetic. I went into the front yard and cleaned out the flower bed and raked the yard. I worked on the yard again until the sun began to set.

It felt wonderful to get outside and do something other than watch television or play the Wii. I am ready to enjoy the great outdoors.

Dreaming

Last night I had a crazy dream...

I went in to team teach a cycle class. I was completely prepared but still nervous. I knew most of the people in this class and I knew they were serious about a good workout. I plugged in my Ipod and all of my playlists disappeared. I began freaking out as I tried to teach without music, missing every cue. My Ipod wouldn't play a single song. The other instructor tried to get my music to work but it was no use. By the end of class I had taught horribly in complete silence. I told them that I was sorry. But they were frustrated and walked passed me grumbling about not getting a good workout. I told them don't worry I won't be teaching this class again. They were pleased with that response.

But my dreaming didn't stop there. Thank goodness my dream finished with happiness. I dreamed that my boyfriend and I sat on the couch with his daughter. We were talking about the future when he gave me a sly look and pulled a box out of his pocket. He whispered into his daughter's ear and she giggled. He opened the box just enough for her to peek in. I tried to look. He shut the lid and smiled at me. I giggled.

Then I woke up. So I went from complete horror to something sweet and now I am tired!

Puppy Bonding Time

She heard the puppy whimpering in his kennel. Groaning, she opened her tired eyes and looked at the clock. Six thirty in the morning.
"Why can't he just sleep in," she grumbled.
Slowly, she slid out of bed and walked into the kitchen. She unlatched the kennel door and the puppy jumped out and licked her arm. She giggled and picked him up. She put him outside and went into the garage to get him a bowl of food. A bark at the door let her know he was ready to come in. She opened the door and he jumped up on her. She laughed and directed him to his food, but he was too excited to see her. She sat down on the floor and took a handful of food and offered it to her puppy. He flopped down in her lap and began eating the food out of her hand.

This is my special puppy moment. The one I look forward to each morning. This is our special bond.

Cycle Rush

Today I taught my first fifteen minutes of cycle to a class of about fifteen people. I told myself after a sleepless night that it would be a piece of cake and that I knew this group so... no fear. Yes I said this and then they entered the cycle room. I sat down on the bike, getting myself ready, and I felt the first rush of oh my gosh what am I doing up here? I shook it off and began the workout. My entire body felt like it was shaking. I continued to smile. In this class we have comedians and thank goodness for them. It helped a little to laugh.
By the end of the first song, only my head and arms trembled and I felt a little more at ease. I made it through one song let's try number two. By the end of the second song my nerves had calmed. I relaxed into a rhythm and felt my confidence building. Another song done and here we go with the next. After the third song I knew I would be fine. The fourth song I had taught to the training class and I had a great time with it. The fourth song was my final song and when it ended, I happily took off the microphone.
They clapped and told me I did a good job. I smiled, pleased that I kept on cue throughout all four songs. Suddenly, my whole world changed. Nausea hit me and my head started pounding. I was relieved that I hadn't eaten prior to class because I most likely would have vomited.

So all I can say is Wow! What a rush! I can't wait to get up there and teach again!

An Ice Cream Peace Offering

Astonished, David stood on the porch staring at the door that Kara just slammed shut in his face. He held tight to the M&M mix she had bought him. How foolish he had been about her eating his ice cream. It's not worth losing the women of his dreams. "It's just ice cream," he mumbled. He knocked on the door and rang the doorbell. The house was silent. He tried the knob, but the door was locked. Again he rang the doorbell. Still there was silence.
He sat down on the porch and began eating the ice cream mix, thinking about her. Missing her more and more by every second she refused to speak to him. He looked down at the ice cream and saw he had eaten half already. He sat it down on the porch. He couldn't eat anymore. Not without her by his side eating her vanilla waffle cone. Ice cream just wasn't the same without her laughing and smiling next to him.

He pulled the ring from his pocket and stared at it. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to see her smile and say "yes" when he asked her to marry him. But now he worried that he wouldn't get the opportunity to ask her.
The door creaked and he turned around to see her standing against the door.
"Kara, I didn't-"
"David, stop. What's done is done. It is the past." He started to speak and she held up her hand. "Let me finish. It was wrong of me to eat your ice cream no matter how much was left. But I was craving it. And I, I-"
He waited for her to say more, but she didn't continue. She shook her head and tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Please don't cry Kara. I don't want to lose you over a cup of ice cream. You see this cup," he said as he picked up the M&M mix.
She nodded.
"You can have the other half. I would share all of my ice cream with you."
She looked up and gazed into his eyes. He handed her the cup and she refused it.
"It's for you," she whispered.
He pulled her chin up and pulled her in close to him. "Kara, what's mine is yours." He kissed her gently. After a moment or two, he pulled away from her and took her hand in his and knelt down on one knee. "Marry me Kara and we will share a lifetime of ice cream together."
She giggled and tears filled her eyes. "Yes, David. Yes I will marry you and we will make many memories while eating ice cream together."

The End

Trying to explain the phrase "Eat my flesh and drink my blood" to my five year old son was something I just wasn't ready to do. I did the best I could while driving home from church on Ash Wednesday.
"The flesh is bread and the blood is grape juice," I explained.
"Uh huh."
"It symbolizes that we are receiving Jesus Christ inside us."
"So Jesus is inside me when I eat bread and drink grape juice?"
"Well when you take communion," I said.
I didn't know how much further I could go with this before I was completely stumped and was relieved when he changed the subject. I didn't want to say anything he wouldn't understand and I didn't want to say anything that was incorrect.

That night I tucked him in and he said his prayers and told me that he can't wait for his first communion. He also told me he wanted to start going to church on Wednesday evenings and my heart leaped for joy.

The next morning at breakfast I asked him, "Would you like milk, juice, or water?"
"Juice," he said proudly. "I want Jesus inside me."
I chuckled a bit. I didn't say anything to discourage him for feeling so deeply about Jesus. He needs that happiness to know that he has Jesus in his heart. Who am I to take that away from him when that is all I ever wanted him to know?

Elimination Day

Today is total elimination day. Today is the day I go through my to do list and finish tying up loose ends. I have begun with cutting up credit cards (which was very thrilling!) and am working towards my study time this afternoon. Yes my blog is rushed because I am so excited to mark things off my list. Things I had been procrastinating on completing.

My goal in this organization is to give myself extra study time. I really could use it with all that I am trying to accomplish before summer arrives.

Things I have done today include: Cancel two credit cards, approve taxes, file and organize last year's paperwork and most important... send off "My Prince Charming" submission to a magazine. This afternoon, requires complete concentration on the three classes that need my attention. So what am I doing now? I'm headed back into the computer room to finish organizing my life so I can prepare for all that required reading!

Lent

What a beautiful forty days ahead of us. A chance to make a sacrifice for Lent, for Jesus Christ. A sacrifice that maybe sticks with you throughout the years to come. It's not just about making a sacrifice and then cheating on Sunday. At least not to me. To me, it is about bettering oneself and making the sacrifice for the full forty days. It's about kicking a bad habit to the curb and trying your best not to pick it back up after Lent is over. That's my plan. And it's not just about sacrifices. Maybe take the time and help someone in need. Maybe serve food to the homeless. At my church we have coffee and donuts before and after mass. They could always use another person to serve.

For me, Lent is a great time to reflect on my life. To see what I can do to become a more positive role model. I want to be the best that I can be. And I pray that is what we all want.

God Bless

A Full Plate

Who is crazy enough to add more tasks to their schedule when it is already full? That would be me. With two writing assignments left, I decided to add instructor training to my almost full plate. Now it's over flowing! And how do I respond to that? Bring it baby! Might as well take care of all that I want to do now while I can. I will have plenty of free time in twenty to thirty years. Besides, I'm adventurous and love to be challenged. I think I might have met my match this week, but I will be back in control before week's end.
And then when my schedule lightens, I will go after a degree in teaching! Boy this is one exciting year!

High School Moment

Through the course of life we experienced such a wonderful place called high school. My question is Is there a moment that you wish you could change? Or better yet a moment that you wouldn't change?

In my freshman year, I was approached by a junior and developed quite a crush. After a couple of months what began quickly ended swiftly for him. He left me moping around the school for a month. I don't even remember the days as they went by. I did my school work and talked to no one. Then one day before Christmas break he approached me with one of his friends.

"Remember the bracelet I gave you?"
I nodded.
"I want it back."
"It's at home."
"I'll come by tonight and get it." They walked off laughing.
Meanwhile my heart tore a bit more. By the time I got home, my head had been filled with so many emotions. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to ask for it back! It was a gift! Then I grew angry. I thought of just what to say when he arrived.
A few minutes later the door bell rang. I grabbed the bracelet and walked to the door. I drew in a deep breath and turned the knob. There he stood with that friend who had laughed at me. Heat rose in my cheeks and then, I smiled wickedly. I know I did because he took a step back from the porch. I said nothing and held out the bracelet for him to take. He looked nervously at his friend who's smile had widened. His fingers grazed the golden bracelet just as I let go. It dropped with a thud on the hard cement porch. His mouth dropped open and his buddy busted out in laughter. I smirked and watched him pick it up. Just as he looked at me one last time, I took note of his astonishment, I laughed and slammed the door shut.

To change a memory like that would be absolutely crazy!

The Change Of Seasons

If you could control the weather, would you change it?

One of the greatest things about Kansas is the crazy weather. One day it's sixty and beautiful and then the storms move in creating tornado warnings. The next day the temperatures have dropped with the North winds moving in and it's going to snow? Oh boy!

Kansas does experience all four seasons and I love every one of them for one reason or another. Let's start with winter. Though it gets bitter cold, the snow is beautiful as it falls. It gives us a chance to snuggle up with a loved one and our children and drink hot chocolate by the fireplace. We can make snow angels and snowmen. And what about snowball fights! I am the first one to grab a handful of snow and pack it in tight. If you turn your back to me, I will aim for your tush and most likely hit it.

Then spring comes. The light pitter patter of rain drops and the low rumble of thunder is a wonderful sound to wake up or fall asleep to. The first bud on a tree and the green grass that starts to come up from a winter's sleep. Then the beautiful flowers that blossom, giving little boys a chance to pick a rose for a special little girl.

Summer is all of fun fun fun! Who doesn't love to play in the sprinklers in their swim suits or shorts. Let's dive in and take a swim and play volleyball across the pool. Fresh fruit and plenty of fresh lemonade for everyone. The sun stays out until almost nine every evening and there's no school.

Fall. Fall is my favorite time of year. The trees turn from green to yellow, orange, red and then to brown. We rake up the leaves that fall to ground and jump into them creating a Kodak moment. You can wear shorts in the day and change into pants and a light jacket in the evening. The misty humid rain slowly turns chilly and campfires are ready to begin again.

So would I change the weather? No. Mother nature is amazing and I think that one season could get boring quickly no matter how perfect it is.

Ice Cream... A Relationship Killer

I never would have thought that ice cream could change a relationship between two people who were deeply in love. But it happened.

One day not that long ago, David and Kara stopped by the ice cream parlor after dinner. She ordered a twist cone and he couldn't be without a M&M mix. Oh how they loved their ice cream. This was their date night ritual.

Both were full from dinner this night and decided to put the remainder of their ice cream in the freezer. The following day, work called him out of town. It was a two day trip. They stood outside the company truck holding tight to one another, engaging in a deep passionate kiss. They were in love and almost inseparable. Two days seemed an eternity to both of them.

Feeling slightly depressed with the love of her life gone, she ate the rest of her twist cone. She smiled when she saw his M&M mix cup and picked it up to see how much he had eaten. Only four good size bites left. She shrug her shoulders and devoured it.

Two days later, he arrived home and they held each other tight kissing and laughing. She led him into the house and fed him a feast fit for a king.
"That was delicious, I barely have room for ice cream."
She smiled and said, "Umm...baby, when you were away at work, I finished our ice cream in the freezer. We could-"
"What! You ate my ice cream?"
She nodded. "I-"
"Why? Why would you eat my ice cream?"
"But I-"
"No. Forget it. I'm going to bed."
"What? You just got home."
"I'm tired." He turned and went into the bedroom.
"Ooh," she said with steam coming out of her ears. She stomped toward the bedroom and turned the knob. The door didn't open. It was locked. She pounded on the door. "David! Open this door!"
"No," he said.
"David open this door right now or I'm gone."
Silence.
"Ooh," she said stomping towards the living room. She grabbed her coat and the keys to his truck. She jumped in the driver's seat and revved up the engine.
He flew out of the house the moment he heard the truck roar to life. "What are you doing?"
"I'm outta here," she shouted and threw the truck in reverse. "I'm gone baby. I'm long gone."
He stood in the driveway holding the tiny box that held the ring inside, wondering if she was serious. Could she really be gone? Or was she just chilling out at her sister's house?
He sat down on the porch with his head between his knees unsure of what he should do now. Maybe let her cool off and apologize? Maybe he should call her. He sighed and sat up. He looked out towards the street and put his hands on his knees. Just as he pushed himself up, he heard the truck coming back down the street. He watched as the truck pulled into the driveway. A smile crossed his face and his heart warmed when she opened the door. In her hand was a cup of M&M mix ice cream.
"Here you big baby. I was trying to tell you that we could go out for ice cream and I would pay." She held it out for him with a distressed look on her face.
"I'm sorry, Kara. I was just teasing."
She forced a smile. "Apology excepted. Now I know I will never ever touch your ice cream again."
She headed towards the door and he grabbed her arm. She turned to him, astonished. He knelt down on one knee. "Will you-"
"No." She said and shook his hand off her arm. She walked into the house and shut the door.

The End.

With two assignments left I wonder just what I'll do with my time?
Oh wait... I did an online course where I set the pace. Hrmm...

I am eager to complete this schooling cycle and get back to the novels I dream of publishing. It's crazy that they are just sitting across from me, staring at me. If they could talk, they would be pleading for me to finish them. But how can I concentrate on both plus work and training to become an instructor? I could also add, studying to become a para at the elementary school, which I have testing coming soon too!
All of this is done in the evenings after my son falls asleep or on weekends when he is with his father. I wish I could say I'm overwhelmed but I live for this feeling. I just wish there was another hour in the day that I could spend on the novel. Only problem, I wouldn't want to stop after an hour. It's a good one!

Live For Today

A strong and powerful message is what I received Sunday morning.

Don't dwell on yesterday for it is history.
Don't worry about tomorrow for it is a mystery
Live For Today...

This is true on many aspects. Why worry about tomorrow when you have things to do today? Why worry about yesterday when it doesn't change anything. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad. If we are going to better ourselves and strengthen our hearts, we must focus on what's in front of us right now.

There will always be hardships. The more we focus on the good, the happier we will be.

Teasing Weather

What a beautiful day with temperatures over sixty degrees. The sun shone brightly and the birds began sang while I sat on the porch reading a book. The feel of spring is here... but is it?
It's crazy that today was a beautifully warm day and tomorrow is supposed to have snow mixed with ice. I was ready for spring cleaning. I even had on flip flops and capris. It was too warm for a jacket and I drank water like it was going out of style. Tomorrow I will be back in thick sweats, wrapped up in a snuggy with a cup of hot chocolate reading a good book by the fireplace.
Even crazier is this snow storm is only supposed to last about three days and then it's supposed to be in the sixties again.
No wonder I'm sneezing!

A Child's Heartbreak

"Miss Leanna," Suzie said excitedly. I walked over to her and she hugged me tight. "Miss Leanna, my daddy says my mommy doesn't want to see me anymore...

I was astonished. If that is true, (which I hope NOT!) isn't there a better way to tell a six year old they won't be seeing their mother? I don't know the entire story, but in my opinion, I would try very hard to tell her that her mother loves her and that she will see her mother soon. Maybe mom's moved away or sick... or maybe just avoid talking about mom. Focus on the positive and be a bright influence. Maybe it's a shock to you that she's no longer a part of your life, but be there for your child. I understand the pain of separation, but I know our children come first in our lives.

Children are so delicate when they are that young and there's no reason to give them a negative vibe. They may begin to blame themselves or lose confidence in who they are. Nobody likes feeling unwanted.

With my son, I strive to make him believe that he is the greatest. That because of him, I smile everyday. It's not the child's fault that their parents have issues to work out and I really don't like it when they put a child in the middle. All "parent conversations" should be done without the presence of children. I know it's hard. Everyone slips from time to time.

All that I ask is that you look at that beautiful child and say... I love you. You make life worth living.
Grab your child and hug them tight. They need our love just as we long for theirs.

She awoke giggling and put her hands on her growing belly. How wonderful it was to be having a child with the love of her life. The man so devout to her and she to him. A love like no other she had ever known or will ever know.
She could smell bacon and biscuits and slid out of bed. When she walked into the kitchen she saw him at the stove scrambling the eggs. He turned his head slightly, smiling, as she wrapped her arms around him.
"I thought you might be hungry," he said turning off the burner.
"Very," she said giggling. He slid the pan off the burner and turned to face her with a gleam in his eyes. His hand rested on her little bump. Her smile beamed bright like the sun and he covered his melting heart with his hands and sighed, smiling back at her. She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck as he slid his around her waist.
A love so true. A love so beautiful. A love like theirs could never be replaced.

Changing of Season

I pour a cup of coffee and walk out onto the back patio and sit on the bench. I can smell rain in the air and I smile. It's the smell of the changing season, the smell of spring. I long for beautiful misty mornings and thunderstorms. I'm ready to see the trees turn green and flowers start to bloom. There's nothing more beautiful than mother nature at her best. How wonderful that a simple seed blossomed into a beautiful yellow tulip or carnation pink peony. The interesting way a tree starts to grow leaves after being dull all throughout winter.

What I love best is the smiles and laughter that feels the air when children can run freely in the backyard after being stuck inside the house during the long cold winter. I too get cabin fever and am ready to spend as much time as I can playing hide and seek or tag with my child. I am ready for winter to end and spring season to begin.

Separation Anxiety

Recently, I felt that my relationship ran deeper on my side. That was a killer because I had never felt love so deeply before. I know I have been wrapped up in this romance that has swept me off my feet. But how is it possible that we aren't on the same level?

It was Monday evening when I answered the phone.
"Hey babe, my phone's about dead. Just wanted you to know so you didn't wait up for my call..." Later in the conversation he says "I'm going to bed early and I'm going to sleep like a rock."

It cut deep into my heart, it was very hard for me to be without him after our weekends together. I felt alone and empty even though I had my son with me. I hated feeling this way because I am very independent, or at least I used to be. I told myself to knock it off. It's just one night and I would see him the next night for movie night.

I understood that in order for me to truly love him, I would have to miss him from time to time. We didn't need to be together every night. I also knew that my life had to revolve and not just around him. He is a wonderful man and I do love him. But I need to quit thinking of our time apart as torture. Being without him in the evenings and sometimes not hearing from him shouldn't bother me. It's the best time for me to get caught up on things I ignore when we are together. And time that I can have a little "Lyana time" to do whatever it is I want to do.

A Morning Visitor?

Oh my... will I ever get to sleep in again! We taught him many commands as of late and recently to "speak." I wanted him to bark when the doorbell rang or if someone knocked on the door. I also wanted him to let me know when he needed/wanted to go outside to do his business.
Yesterday morning I couldn't quite pull myself out of bed. Just too lazy though I was wide awake. Under the blankets is so warm and comfortable and with no lights I can rest.
I heard a knock at the door. I looked at the clock. 7 am. Who would be knocking on my door at seven in the morning? I jumped out of bed and walked into the living room, peeking through the window first. Nobody. I shook it off and started to walk back into my room when Texas, my pup, began to speak. I sighed and turned around to let him out of his kennel. His tail began thumping against the wall of his kennel. It was he who knocked!

This morning he began this wake up call at six fifteen. I didn't get up right away hoping he would go back to sleep. Then he began to whine and speak loudly. I jumped up because I didn't want him waking up my boy.

I'm beginning to think this Valentine's present of mine is training me!

A Manicure Moment

A day at the nail salon was just what my boyfriend's six year old daughter and I needed. A time to relax and have a little girl time. They were busy this Sunday afternoon which gave us plenty of time to choose our colors while we talked about school, cheer and of course my son and her daddy.
When it comes to polish I prefer just a clear coat on my nails but today she told me I should choose a color. A coral color shimmered at me, and I picked it up.
"That's pretty but you should get pink," she says with a smile.
"Pink? Me?"
She nods her head and giggles.
I sigh and give in to her precious smile.
She grabs a shade of pink and we begin the process of elimination, testing each shade on to the paper on the counter. After a good twenty minutes we have chosen our color. Mine was a blinding bright hot pink and hers was a glittery pink, not as bold.
We sit down and take a couple of pictures for my special photo album. She was getting anxious and couldn't sit still and I hoped they were close to calling us. Ten more minutes pass and suddenly she changes her mind about her shade of pink. With plenty of time to waste, we again test out a few more colors, including shades of blue and purple. In the end, she chooses the same shade she had in the beginning. I told her that and she laughs.
As we sit back down a gentleman comes up to us and guides us to his nail station. He begins working on my nails when she spots a color she just had to have... Purple! (Which is her favorite color.) Now I am wearing this bright pink alone!
The man working on our nails asked me if she was my only child. I answered him "Oh I wish she was mine."

We added a cute little flower on to her thumb nails and she beamed brightly. Her smile is so sweet it warms my heart. I can tell I'm going to have a hard time telling her no.

Though it took over two hours to get our nails done (and time flying by quickly too!)and me polished with a barbie fashion hot pink on my nails, it was one wonderful moment I spent with this beautiful young lady. I can't wait to have more opportunities with her like this.

A Child Of God

Over the last three weeks I have been troubled by events surrounding me. Unable to find solutions to the questions that plagued my mind for the last four months, I finally turned to God. For three weeks I went to morning mass asking questions to the Lord, asking for forgiveness for my sins. My guilt had buried me in a sea of mess. I prayed that I would find strength and reason for my overwhelming guilt.

This morning, it hit me while praying the rosary before mass. My reasons of guilt had been answered and I was gaining strength to face my situation by the minute. I feel certain that the Lord had been trying to tell me. But in my guilt I couldn't hear him.

I am thankful for so much in my life and I understand that living in the past will not help the foundation I'm building to strengthen. That through prayer and our Lord's love, I can continue on the path he has chosen for me.
I am a child of God and always will be.

A special Valentine

My son had received a wonderful Valentine card in the mail from my boyfriend's sweet mother. In it she included a little cash to buy him whatever he wants. Cars or trains is the answer for him. As I thumbed through the rest of the mail I saw that I too had a card. No return name listed. I opened it up and read the wonderful words inside it.
Thank you for putting a smile on his face and making him happy again... We love you, sign his mom and dad.
I choked up that she would think to send me a special card thanking me for the man I have come to love. I sent her a note in return telling her that he has kept me smiling these last seven months and thanked her for welcoming me so kindly into their family.

How did I get so lucky? How did we find each other at just the right time in our lives? Did fate pull us together?

Yes, I am extremely lucky to have a man who loves me for me and I know our love will last our lifetime.
The Lord has a plan for each and every one of us. I will always trust in our Lord.

Snowball Fun

Oh my goodness! What fun it is to play in the fluffy white snow! My son and I are bundled up warm as can be. The puppy is extremely excited too! We join my boyfriend, who has kindly shoveled the snow off the patio, outside for a little snowball fun. The snow is as high as my puppy's belly and he is still able to run through it.
My son and I began packing snow for a snowball fight. My belief... that we would attack the boyfriend. I was mistaken. My precious angelic boy throws a snowball directly at my face as I am packing a snowball. The good news, he is only five and doesn't know how to pack a good one yet. I laugh and throw one at his back. It bursts into fluff as it hits his back. By then the boyfriend is on full attack. He is running straight for me with a devilish smile. I am running backwards laughing and throw one at him. My feet come out from under me and I land on my back in the snow, just as my son takes a dive into the snow landing face first. When he stands he is crying from the cold snow that covers him completely including his face. We had been out here for more than thirty minutes throwing the snowballs and laughing uncontrollably. I know that it's time to go in and make him a warm bath. It's dinner time anyway and the sun will be fading soon.

What a fabulous snow we have had the pleasure of having. Though it is bitter cold (to me) it is worth the fun we have in it. Task for tomorrow is build a snowman!

Don't Wake Me I'm Dreaming

I wake up after a pleasant dream thinking of my beloved. Longing to be in his arms as my heart aches for him. It is still dark outside. I stare up at the ceiling and let out a long sigh. "Oh where is my beloved Romeo?"
He is miles away and with the depth of snow I mustn't travel. I would freeze, fall to my death before I reach him. I force myself to close my eyes.. If I were in his embrace, I would fall fast asleep to his soft sweet kisses and the sweet nothings he whispers in my ear.

Our love is forbidden by the ones with power. The powerful ones only wish to see us fall to pieces. I cannot let that happen for he is my true love. One day the sun will shine again. One day I will cover him with kisses as I tell him my heart. He will take me in his arms and tell me his love is devout. He will make me his wife and I will have his children. I will love and honor him for the rest of our days and he will do the same.
I smile now as I am drifting to dream of my handsome Romeo. I dream of his smile. I see the light in his eyes. I shiver at his gentle caress on my hand. His arm wraps around me and his breath is near my ear.
"You are beautiful my Juliet. I want to keep you forever."
I wrap my arm around his neck and reach up to his ear and whisper, "I am yours, Romeo. I will love you always with my whole heart."
His lips brush along my cheek until his lips meet mine. I am weak. Our passion flows deep in our kiss and I know our love is true.
Don't Wake Me I'm Dreaming...

Have you ever text somebody a question just to see how they would answer you? When you get the answer you think, "Oh heck, why did I ask that?" because it led into a two hour phone call. There was obviously a hidden agenda for your question to begin with, right?
Why do we always beat around the bush instead of just ask directly?
With me, it's a matter of protecting my heart. I always put up barriers and push away the ones I love. Why? because it's safe. My fear of getting hurt again is overwhelming. I try desperately to overcome this fear, but it's been a long process.

I am positive that one day I will be able to look back on this and roll my eyes as I laugh. And honestly, I hope that day comes soon. I understand guarding my heart will make it less painful, but think of all the love and joy that I will miss out on because I wouldn't take the risk.

I keep these words close to me, Dance, Live, Laugh, Love... dance as if there is no one watching. live as if there is no tomorrow. love as you have never loved before. laugh every moment of every day.

Superbowl

Wow! What a rivalry. Sister versus sister. Who will pull through and which sister will curse the most...

Funny enough, I am the Pittsburgh Steelers fan and I didn't curse as much as my sister who is a huge Green Bay Packers fan. Yet they won!

It was an intense showdown after half time and I thought it was fun to get my nephew cheering for my team. Every time a touchdown was scored, one of us would perform the end zone dance.

Pittsburgh had the ball with two minutes to go and Roethlisberger throws an interception to end their chance for victory. I groaned and walked into another room to start the cleanup process. My sister was extremely excited and kept cheering. I was frustrated. Who wouldn't be when their team lost? I walked back into the family room and shut off the television just before they popped the confetti.

"Hey," my sister whined.
Laughter filled the room.

How cruel to make them miss their celebration! But it was a personal Foul... Excessive Celebration after the game!

A Gas Experience

Oh my goodness is all I can say to an embarrassing experience. I recently changed vitamins with the hopes of gaining more energy. However, sometimes that's not such a wise thing.

I used to take my vitamins in the morning but I had heard that taking them at night is better for digestion. I began taking them with a glass of milk while making dinner. This I had been doing for two weeks. And for two weeks I have been mystified by an unpleasant visitor, gas. To make matters worse, my boyfriend would come over and enjoy dinner with my son and I. It seems the moment he walked in the door my stomach began to churn. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I never had issues with gas and I began to wonder if it was my boyfriend causing it.

I had made dinner, making sure there weren't any vegetables or dairy products to upset my stomach, because living off Maalox isn't fun at all. As soon as dinner ended, I send them off to play the Wii while I clean up the kitchen. My stomach starts to churn as I clear the table. "Oh man, not again!" I rush to the bathroom hoping it would pass. Praying it would pass. I take another Maalox just to be on the safe side.
I can hear them down in the basement laughing and I felt like I needed to let out some relief. I hear footfalls on the stairs, praying it's my son as the sound of a fog horn rips long and loud. My face is burning hot as I turn slowly towards the staircase. A sigh of relief when I see my son standing on the top step. He starts to laugh and looks down the stairs. I try to divert his attention but it is no use. He shouts out, "Mommy just farted!"
Then I heard my boyfriend say, "So I heard."
I look down the stairway and see him, half smiling, half laughing, halfway up the stairs and my face burned with humiliation.

Return To Cycle

This is the sequel to Death By Cycle. In this energetic tale, a mouthy sarcastic woman, Leanna, takes over Lisa's cycle class. JJ and Austin are standoffish while the rest of the class celebrates. Leanna's new powerful position became fatal as the class began. Not only were the doors locked but automatic shackles were installed. Once Leanna said, "Seventy percent on this heavy climb up the mountain." a diabolical laugh escapes her. She presses the button mounted on the right side of her cycle. The shackles lock around their ankles and the gasps from the class fill the room.

"Leanna what are you doing? I thought I was your best friend!" Andrea shrieked.

"Pedal harder and push back into a hover," Leanna shouted. "This one's for you Andrea. Don't worry Austin, isolation is coming up soon." Leanna's laughter echoed through the room and many cringed.

"I knew it!" Austin shouted. "She's worse than Lisa!"

"Oh Austin, I thrive on giving you the best cycle experience you could imagine," Leanna said with a devious smile. "I do this for you. Not for me."

Amy turns to Sheila and whispers, "how long do you think it will take for one of us to dethrone her?"

Sheila turns to look at Andrea whose face turned scarlet and an evil glint flashed in her eye. She looks at JJ and Austin. Their expressions compared equally to Andrea's.

"I give it an hour." Sheila and Amy bust out laughing catching everyone off guard.
Leanna raised a brow. She shook her head and commanded, "ISOLATION!"

To be continued...

Again this story and it's characters are completely fictional intended for amusement purposes only.

Snow Day Number 3

Day three on the captain's log. It is o' niner fifty-three and all is calm. The puppy is playing quietly with his chew toy close to fading into nap time and the child is playing trains quietly in his room. I ask myself, how did I get so lucky this morning when the last two days have been exhausting? I wonder do they see the stress marks on my forehead? The way I rub my temples constantly? Or do they finally need time to themselves?

I am relaxed and ready to pick up my book and get through another chapter. I...
Oh no! What has happened to the quiet I just settled into? The boy has come into the rooom asking me question after question and turned on that annoying hamster that sings "Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. The puppy is whining for attention!

I had three minutes of silence and now I must sign off.

This is you captain signing off, saying "HELP ME!"

Hahaha! Just a little humor to add to the morning mix. Out of the three days we have been out of school this one is by far the easiest... so far.

Recently I received a puppy for Valentines Day. I was so excited and I thought my five year old son would be too. He loves the puppy but he wants my attention the moment I begin to work with the puppy. I can feel the jealousy kick in as both he and the puppy pretty much fight for my attention leaving me running in circles and exhausted by the end of the day. At least there is a full day of school and errands to run throughout the week and a boyfriend to help out for a few hours too.

Would I trade this moment? No. It's not going to be forever and watching the puppy grow alongside my son will be wonderful to watch.

The Joy Of Ice Cream

I'm sitting on the couch in my pajamas enjoying a huge bowl of vanilla bean ice cream from Braums. The evening news is on and I'm thinking maybe just maybe I should rethink this moment. Then I think nah... these are the moments I live to enjoy.
I am training myself to be ready for spring and summer when I can start dressing lighter. I really aim to look my best now that I have devoted myself into training to become an aerobics instructor. I am sure that eating a bowl of ice cream late at night and washing it down with a soda just isn't going to help me get into my desired body shape. But my will to behave in the winter is weak. It's even weaker now that I am comfortable in my relationship and he also has a love for ice cream.

So what do I do now? I say eat in the late afternoon or early evening and skip the soda!

Raising A Puppy

Training a puppy is like having a newborn baby. It's something that one should think deeply about as they are oohing over that precious puppy face. I'm here to give you an example of just what I'm talking about.
Imagine waking up every three hours in the night just to make sure your two month old puppy can use the bathroom no matter the weather. Then training them as if they are a toddler, teaching them not to bite or chew on shoes or people. Potty training all over again, making sure they go fifteen minutes after eating or drinking. Watching them like a hawk to make sure they don't end up with something in their mouth that could choke them. The relief of nap time just around the corner (because you are hopefully crate training your puppy).
There's the stress, now here's the best part. They always love you and though they can be ornery, they stay close to your side. They lay at your feet and sometimes just want to be held. A puppy is wonderful entertainment when you only have one child. The smile on your child's face when he/she runs around outside playing with the puppy is priceless.

So think deeply and be prepared for the work you have to put into a puppy before you whimsically buy one. Just remember they are worth the time and effort and having a puppy helps prolong your lifespan. I love my puppy and can't wait to get home to play with him after a long day's work.

Addicted To The Blog

A song is now stuck in my head, Might as well face it you're addicted to... my blog?

I am pleased with myself as I sit in front of the computer with my latte in hand, brainstorming on a new blog idea when I receive an alert. I have one message waiting.
It reads: What, no blog today?

At first I am baffled. I had written a blog and sent it early in the day. I knew it went out later than usual, but it should have shown up by now. I skimmed through the recent blogs and realize that it was backdated by two weeks. I fixed the date and resent it.
A few minutes later, another message: Thank you.

A message like that keeps me writing with a smile as well as it keeps me on my toes to make sure I don't miss a beat!

Death By Cycle

Death By Cycle is a book inspired by Lisa the cycle instructor. In this book Lisa opens the cycle doors with a warm and comforting smile. She is a tiny thing who looks harmless and just as bubbly as can be, luring you into the cycle room. As soon as the class is full she shuts the door and locks it. Her sweet voice has turned ferocious as she cracks the whip on her students. Sweat pouring down their faces, they beg for water.
A diabolical laugh escapes her as she reminds the class "Today is all about me. Not you. Now ISOLATION!"
The groaning begins and so does the plot. Lisa sits back on her bike and picks up her Grape Powerade Zero.
Before she takes a drink she shouts out "I want seventy percent and pedal faster!"
Again the groaning begins as they comply to her request.
One lady in her blue workout outfit feels faint and slows down. "Oh please don't let her see me slow down."
Lisa takes a Texas size gulp of her Powerade and notices the lady slowing down. Lisa starts to shout but then chokes. Her hands fly up to her throat and she stops pedaling. The class is so intense on pleasing their instructor they don't take notice. Lisa stiffens and falls sideways to the ground unconscious.
The lady in blue, we will call her Amy, screams. Everyone turns to her and she starts pointing towards Lisa, unable to speak. One by one heads turn towards Lisa.
The fire fighter is the first to jump off the bike and runs over to her. "She's not breathing. What happened to her?"
No one speaks. JJ, the fire fighter, turns to Amy. "What did you see?"
"Sh-sh-sh"
"Duh she fell off the bike. She's not breathing," Andrea says and rolls her eyes.
"Geez Andrea, let's just be ruthless." Leanna smirks and hits Andrea in the arm.
"Ow," Andrea whines.
"Oh please I barely hit you."
"Ladies, shouldn't we be focused on Lisa?"
"You're the fire fighter, call somebody," Leanna says shaking her head.
"How did she croak?" Asked an unknown lady in the back row.
"I don't know. I didn't look at her for fear she'd make me pedal harder," Austin answered.
Silence filled the room once more.

The question is, who done it?"
Was it Amy the girl in blue since she was the first to notice? Or maybe that mysterious somebody in the back row? Could it have been the fire fighter Austin? Or maybe the two mouthy sarcastic girls? Or maybe it was just a fluke accident when she began bossing around the class while taking that large gulp which stole her breath and her life?

I guess we'll never know.

*Disclaimer-- this is a fictional story created by me and the cycle crew (who refused to let me use their real names) inspired by Lisa the slave driving cycle instructor.
HAHA! We love you Lisa!

Snowy Day Fun

The frigid temperature didn't keep my warm and cheerful thoughts from flooding my mind. I love watching the snow fall while drinking hot chocolate near the fireplace. I'm ecstatic and can't wait to build a snowman. I encourage my son to bundle up.
"It's time to play in the snow!"
With a scarf, gloves, stocking cap and a huge coat, we head out to shovel the driveway.

I snicker as I gather snow in my gloves and turn to my son. I throw a snowball and laugh as it falls apart before it reaches him. The snow is too soft to build a snowman or have a snowball fight. Yet we gather snow for the snowman's base anyway.

I turn around when I hear him snicker. A shovel full of snow is heading my way and I am covered before I can move. I jump up laughing as I shake off the snow and chase after him. He laughs and throws the shovel down on the ground. I gather up snow in both hands and he runs as fast as he can while I chase him, throwing snow at his back. He loses his balance and falls into the snow face first and I slide to a stop falling down on my bottom. We can't stop laughing and decide it's time to make snow angels.

I love playing in the snow with my little guy.

Friends For A Reason

Have you ever wondered why some people come into your life for a short time while others stay your entire lifetime?

I believe it's a time of need when most people come into your life. The times you need someone to pick you up when you have fallen or someone to show you that life is amazing. Maybe they are here just for special occasions. It's not that you mean to let them fade, but life presents it. You start a new job or they pick up a new hobby. Relationships end and new ones begin. You move across town and change schools. Once you have met these wonderful people, you remember them forever.

At point in my life, I had friends that came out of nowhere when I needed them the most. Though I didn't know at that point just how much I needed them. We had many girls night outs including rock band nights that lasted until sunrise or just sitting at a restaurant bar watching football games while talking about life and laughing so hard it brought tears to our eyes. There were gym partners as well as coffee or lunch dates. I also had friends who just wanted to dance. Then there were a couple of really good friends who lent their shoulder so I could cry. I would do the same for them at any hour of any day.

My life began to change for the better. I moved out of one house and into another. My son changed schools and I started a new job. Life began to get busy when I added a second class for my own schooling. Time was limited for friends when school began. And then I met someone special. My focus was hazy as I fell in love and my friends fell further back than I had meant.

Friends are friends for life and I think of my friends new and old often. I reminisce of the long rock band nights and the laughs over chips and salsa. I smile when I think about how much I have grown into a strong women because of their support. I know that we will be friends for life in my heart even if I don't see them again. Though I am sure that I will see them when Summer arrives.

Cat Lover Gone Dog?

Oh my... what has happened to me that I would let go of a precious kitty just to get a puppy? I have no idea! This boyfriend of mine has truly become a bad influence as of late. I have sat around playing the Wii and slept longer hours. I also cut my gym time in half and now a dog?!

I have always loved and owned pets. Dogs, cats, fish and even a rabbit. Of all the pets I have owned, cats were my preference. They were playful yet slept a lot. I didn't have to change out gallons of water, just filled up the water bowl. Potty training was a cinch. Dogs are great companions, but playtime is rough with teeth bigger and sharper than a cat's teeth.

So how did I turn from wanting a cat to a dog?
I went to the Humane Society to look for a possible companion for my son and I. I played with cute and cuddly kittens, but non caught my eye. I walked around looking at the puppies, still thinking I should wait for the perfect kitten until I saw Bob, a five month old Labrador Retriever.
With a silky jet black coat and the perfect puppy face I stared at him. He began to bark as if to say "Please take me home. I don't like it here."
"No. No way. Not a dog," I thought and walked a few feet away. He yelped a bit louder. I looked over my shoulder and into his sad golden eyes. He laid his head down on his paws, staring at me, melting my heart. That look made it impossible to walk away. I imagined taking walks in the park or running around in the backyard playing fetch. I smiled thinking of him curling up by my feet while I worked on the computer or watched television. I thought of my son having a pet that would last a long time. One that would greet him at the door after school ready to play. A pet that would love and entertain him and he would do the same in return.
I wanted him at that moment.