Live For Today

A strong and powerful message is what I received Sunday morning.

Don't dwell on yesterday for it is history.
Don't worry about tomorrow for it is a mystery
Live For Today...

This is true on many aspects. Why worry about tomorrow when you have things to do today? Why worry about yesterday when it doesn't change anything. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad. If we are going to better ourselves and strengthen our hearts, we must focus on what's in front of us right now.

There will always be hardships. The more we focus on the good, the happier we will be.

Teasing Weather

What a beautiful day with temperatures over sixty degrees. The sun shone brightly and the birds began sang while I sat on the porch reading a book. The feel of spring is here... but is it?
It's crazy that today was a beautifully warm day and tomorrow is supposed to have snow mixed with ice. I was ready for spring cleaning. I even had on flip flops and capris. It was too warm for a jacket and I drank water like it was going out of style. Tomorrow I will be back in thick sweats, wrapped up in a snuggy with a cup of hot chocolate reading a good book by the fireplace.
Even crazier is this snow storm is only supposed to last about three days and then it's supposed to be in the sixties again.
No wonder I'm sneezing!

A Child's Heartbreak

"Miss Leanna," Suzie said excitedly. I walked over to her and she hugged me tight. "Miss Leanna, my daddy says my mommy doesn't want to see me anymore...

I was astonished. If that is true, (which I hope NOT!) isn't there a better way to tell a six year old they won't be seeing their mother? I don't know the entire story, but in my opinion, I would try very hard to tell her that her mother loves her and that she will see her mother soon. Maybe mom's moved away or sick... or maybe just avoid talking about mom. Focus on the positive and be a bright influence. Maybe it's a shock to you that she's no longer a part of your life, but be there for your child. I understand the pain of separation, but I know our children come first in our lives.

Children are so delicate when they are that young and there's no reason to give them a negative vibe. They may begin to blame themselves or lose confidence in who they are. Nobody likes feeling unwanted.

With my son, I strive to make him believe that he is the greatest. That because of him, I smile everyday. It's not the child's fault that their parents have issues to work out and I really don't like it when they put a child in the middle. All "parent conversations" should be done without the presence of children. I know it's hard. Everyone slips from time to time.

All that I ask is that you look at that beautiful child and say... I love you. You make life worth living.
Grab your child and hug them tight. They need our love just as we long for theirs.

She awoke giggling and put her hands on her growing belly. How wonderful it was to be having a child with the love of her life. The man so devout to her and she to him. A love like no other she had ever known or will ever know.
She could smell bacon and biscuits and slid out of bed. When she walked into the kitchen she saw him at the stove scrambling the eggs. He turned his head slightly, smiling, as she wrapped her arms around him.
"I thought you might be hungry," he said turning off the burner.
"Very," she said giggling. He slid the pan off the burner and turned to face her with a gleam in his eyes. His hand rested on her little bump. Her smile beamed bright like the sun and he covered his melting heart with his hands and sighed, smiling back at her. She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck as he slid his around her waist.
A love so true. A love so beautiful. A love like theirs could never be replaced.

Changing of Season

I pour a cup of coffee and walk out onto the back patio and sit on the bench. I can smell rain in the air and I smile. It's the smell of the changing season, the smell of spring. I long for beautiful misty mornings and thunderstorms. I'm ready to see the trees turn green and flowers start to bloom. There's nothing more beautiful than mother nature at her best. How wonderful that a simple seed blossomed into a beautiful yellow tulip or carnation pink peony. The interesting way a tree starts to grow leaves after being dull all throughout winter.

What I love best is the smiles and laughter that feels the air when children can run freely in the backyard after being stuck inside the house during the long cold winter. I too get cabin fever and am ready to spend as much time as I can playing hide and seek or tag with my child. I am ready for winter to end and spring season to begin.

Separation Anxiety

Recently, I felt that my relationship ran deeper on my side. That was a killer because I had never felt love so deeply before. I know I have been wrapped up in this romance that has swept me off my feet. But how is it possible that we aren't on the same level?

It was Monday evening when I answered the phone.
"Hey babe, my phone's about dead. Just wanted you to know so you didn't wait up for my call..." Later in the conversation he says "I'm going to bed early and I'm going to sleep like a rock."

It cut deep into my heart, it was very hard for me to be without him after our weekends together. I felt alone and empty even though I had my son with me. I hated feeling this way because I am very independent, or at least I used to be. I told myself to knock it off. It's just one night and I would see him the next night for movie night.

I understood that in order for me to truly love him, I would have to miss him from time to time. We didn't need to be together every night. I also knew that my life had to revolve and not just around him. He is a wonderful man and I do love him. But I need to quit thinking of our time apart as torture. Being without him in the evenings and sometimes not hearing from him shouldn't bother me. It's the best time for me to get caught up on things I ignore when we are together. And time that I can have a little "Lyana time" to do whatever it is I want to do.

A Morning Visitor?

Oh my... will I ever get to sleep in again! We taught him many commands as of late and recently to "speak." I wanted him to bark when the doorbell rang or if someone knocked on the door. I also wanted him to let me know when he needed/wanted to go outside to do his business.
Yesterday morning I couldn't quite pull myself out of bed. Just too lazy though I was wide awake. Under the blankets is so warm and comfortable and with no lights I can rest.
I heard a knock at the door. I looked at the clock. 7 am. Who would be knocking on my door at seven in the morning? I jumped out of bed and walked into the living room, peeking through the window first. Nobody. I shook it off and started to walk back into my room when Texas, my pup, began to speak. I sighed and turned around to let him out of his kennel. His tail began thumping against the wall of his kennel. It was he who knocked!

This morning he began this wake up call at six fifteen. I didn't get up right away hoping he would go back to sleep. Then he began to whine and speak loudly. I jumped up because I didn't want him waking up my boy.

I'm beginning to think this Valentine's present of mine is training me!

A Manicure Moment

A day at the nail salon was just what my boyfriend's six year old daughter and I needed. A time to relax and have a little girl time. They were busy this Sunday afternoon which gave us plenty of time to choose our colors while we talked about school, cheer and of course my son and her daddy.
When it comes to polish I prefer just a clear coat on my nails but today she told me I should choose a color. A coral color shimmered at me, and I picked it up.
"That's pretty but you should get pink," she says with a smile.
"Pink? Me?"
She nods her head and giggles.
I sigh and give in to her precious smile.
She grabs a shade of pink and we begin the process of elimination, testing each shade on to the paper on the counter. After a good twenty minutes we have chosen our color. Mine was a blinding bright hot pink and hers was a glittery pink, not as bold.
We sit down and take a couple of pictures for my special photo album. She was getting anxious and couldn't sit still and I hoped they were close to calling us. Ten more minutes pass and suddenly she changes her mind about her shade of pink. With plenty of time to waste, we again test out a few more colors, including shades of blue and purple. In the end, she chooses the same shade she had in the beginning. I told her that and she laughs.
As we sit back down a gentleman comes up to us and guides us to his nail station. He begins working on my nails when she spots a color she just had to have... Purple! (Which is her favorite color.) Now I am wearing this bright pink alone!
The man working on our nails asked me if she was my only child. I answered him "Oh I wish she was mine."

We added a cute little flower on to her thumb nails and she beamed brightly. Her smile is so sweet it warms my heart. I can tell I'm going to have a hard time telling her no.

Though it took over two hours to get our nails done (and time flying by quickly too!)and me polished with a barbie fashion hot pink on my nails, it was one wonderful moment I spent with this beautiful young lady. I can't wait to have more opportunities with her like this.

A Child Of God

Over the last three weeks I have been troubled by events surrounding me. Unable to find solutions to the questions that plagued my mind for the last four months, I finally turned to God. For three weeks I went to morning mass asking questions to the Lord, asking for forgiveness for my sins. My guilt had buried me in a sea of mess. I prayed that I would find strength and reason for my overwhelming guilt.

This morning, it hit me while praying the rosary before mass. My reasons of guilt had been answered and I was gaining strength to face my situation by the minute. I feel certain that the Lord had been trying to tell me. But in my guilt I couldn't hear him.

I am thankful for so much in my life and I understand that living in the past will not help the foundation I'm building to strengthen. That through prayer and our Lord's love, I can continue on the path he has chosen for me.
I am a child of God and always will be.

A special Valentine

My son had received a wonderful Valentine card in the mail from my boyfriend's sweet mother. In it she included a little cash to buy him whatever he wants. Cars or trains is the answer for him. As I thumbed through the rest of the mail I saw that I too had a card. No return name listed. I opened it up and read the wonderful words inside it.
Thank you for putting a smile on his face and making him happy again... We love you, sign his mom and dad.
I choked up that she would think to send me a special card thanking me for the man I have come to love. I sent her a note in return telling her that he has kept me smiling these last seven months and thanked her for welcoming me so kindly into their family.

How did I get so lucky? How did we find each other at just the right time in our lives? Did fate pull us together?

Yes, I am extremely lucky to have a man who loves me for me and I know our love will last our lifetime.
The Lord has a plan for each and every one of us. I will always trust in our Lord.

Snowball Fun

Oh my goodness! What fun it is to play in the fluffy white snow! My son and I are bundled up warm as can be. The puppy is extremely excited too! We join my boyfriend, who has kindly shoveled the snow off the patio, outside for a little snowball fun. The snow is as high as my puppy's belly and he is still able to run through it.
My son and I began packing snow for a snowball fight. My belief... that we would attack the boyfriend. I was mistaken. My precious angelic boy throws a snowball directly at my face as I am packing a snowball. The good news, he is only five and doesn't know how to pack a good one yet. I laugh and throw one at his back. It bursts into fluff as it hits his back. By then the boyfriend is on full attack. He is running straight for me with a devilish smile. I am running backwards laughing and throw one at him. My feet come out from under me and I land on my back in the snow, just as my son takes a dive into the snow landing face first. When he stands he is crying from the cold snow that covers him completely including his face. We had been out here for more than thirty minutes throwing the snowballs and laughing uncontrollably. I know that it's time to go in and make him a warm bath. It's dinner time anyway and the sun will be fading soon.

What a fabulous snow we have had the pleasure of having. Though it is bitter cold (to me) it is worth the fun we have in it. Task for tomorrow is build a snowman!

Don't Wake Me I'm Dreaming

I wake up after a pleasant dream thinking of my beloved. Longing to be in his arms as my heart aches for him. It is still dark outside. I stare up at the ceiling and let out a long sigh. "Oh where is my beloved Romeo?"
He is miles away and with the depth of snow I mustn't travel. I would freeze, fall to my death before I reach him. I force myself to close my eyes.. If I were in his embrace, I would fall fast asleep to his soft sweet kisses and the sweet nothings he whispers in my ear.

Our love is forbidden by the ones with power. The powerful ones only wish to see us fall to pieces. I cannot let that happen for he is my true love. One day the sun will shine again. One day I will cover him with kisses as I tell him my heart. He will take me in his arms and tell me his love is devout. He will make me his wife and I will have his children. I will love and honor him for the rest of our days and he will do the same.
I smile now as I am drifting to dream of my handsome Romeo. I dream of his smile. I see the light in his eyes. I shiver at his gentle caress on my hand. His arm wraps around me and his breath is near my ear.
"You are beautiful my Juliet. I want to keep you forever."
I wrap my arm around his neck and reach up to his ear and whisper, "I am yours, Romeo. I will love you always with my whole heart."
His lips brush along my cheek until his lips meet mine. I am weak. Our passion flows deep in our kiss and I know our love is true.
Don't Wake Me I'm Dreaming...

Have you ever text somebody a question just to see how they would answer you? When you get the answer you think, "Oh heck, why did I ask that?" because it led into a two hour phone call. There was obviously a hidden agenda for your question to begin with, right?
Why do we always beat around the bush instead of just ask directly?
With me, it's a matter of protecting my heart. I always put up barriers and push away the ones I love. Why? because it's safe. My fear of getting hurt again is overwhelming. I try desperately to overcome this fear, but it's been a long process.

I am positive that one day I will be able to look back on this and roll my eyes as I laugh. And honestly, I hope that day comes soon. I understand guarding my heart will make it less painful, but think of all the love and joy that I will miss out on because I wouldn't take the risk.

I keep these words close to me, Dance, Live, Laugh, Love... dance as if there is no one watching. live as if there is no tomorrow. love as you have never loved before. laugh every moment of every day.

Superbowl

Wow! What a rivalry. Sister versus sister. Who will pull through and which sister will curse the most...

Funny enough, I am the Pittsburgh Steelers fan and I didn't curse as much as my sister who is a huge Green Bay Packers fan. Yet they won!

It was an intense showdown after half time and I thought it was fun to get my nephew cheering for my team. Every time a touchdown was scored, one of us would perform the end zone dance.

Pittsburgh had the ball with two minutes to go and Roethlisberger throws an interception to end their chance for victory. I groaned and walked into another room to start the cleanup process. My sister was extremely excited and kept cheering. I was frustrated. Who wouldn't be when their team lost? I walked back into the family room and shut off the television just before they popped the confetti.

"Hey," my sister whined.
Laughter filled the room.

How cruel to make them miss their celebration! But it was a personal Foul... Excessive Celebration after the game!

A Gas Experience

Oh my goodness is all I can say to an embarrassing experience. I recently changed vitamins with the hopes of gaining more energy. However, sometimes that's not such a wise thing.

I used to take my vitamins in the morning but I had heard that taking them at night is better for digestion. I began taking them with a glass of milk while making dinner. This I had been doing for two weeks. And for two weeks I have been mystified by an unpleasant visitor, gas. To make matters worse, my boyfriend would come over and enjoy dinner with my son and I. It seems the moment he walked in the door my stomach began to churn. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I never had issues with gas and I began to wonder if it was my boyfriend causing it.

I had made dinner, making sure there weren't any vegetables or dairy products to upset my stomach, because living off Maalox isn't fun at all. As soon as dinner ended, I send them off to play the Wii while I clean up the kitchen. My stomach starts to churn as I clear the table. "Oh man, not again!" I rush to the bathroom hoping it would pass. Praying it would pass. I take another Maalox just to be on the safe side.
I can hear them down in the basement laughing and I felt like I needed to let out some relief. I hear footfalls on the stairs, praying it's my son as the sound of a fog horn rips long and loud. My face is burning hot as I turn slowly towards the staircase. A sigh of relief when I see my son standing on the top step. He starts to laugh and looks down the stairs. I try to divert his attention but it is no use. He shouts out, "Mommy just farted!"
Then I heard my boyfriend say, "So I heard."
I look down the stairway and see him, half smiling, half laughing, halfway up the stairs and my face burned with humiliation.

Return To Cycle

This is the sequel to Death By Cycle. In this energetic tale, a mouthy sarcastic woman, Leanna, takes over Lisa's cycle class. JJ and Austin are standoffish while the rest of the class celebrates. Leanna's new powerful position became fatal as the class began. Not only were the doors locked but automatic shackles were installed. Once Leanna said, "Seventy percent on this heavy climb up the mountain." a diabolical laugh escapes her. She presses the button mounted on the right side of her cycle. The shackles lock around their ankles and the gasps from the class fill the room.

"Leanna what are you doing? I thought I was your best friend!" Andrea shrieked.

"Pedal harder and push back into a hover," Leanna shouted. "This one's for you Andrea. Don't worry Austin, isolation is coming up soon." Leanna's laughter echoed through the room and many cringed.

"I knew it!" Austin shouted. "She's worse than Lisa!"

"Oh Austin, I thrive on giving you the best cycle experience you could imagine," Leanna said with a devious smile. "I do this for you. Not for me."

Amy turns to Sheila and whispers, "how long do you think it will take for one of us to dethrone her?"

Sheila turns to look at Andrea whose face turned scarlet and an evil glint flashed in her eye. She looks at JJ and Austin. Their expressions compared equally to Andrea's.

"I give it an hour." Sheila and Amy bust out laughing catching everyone off guard.
Leanna raised a brow. She shook her head and commanded, "ISOLATION!"

To be continued...

Again this story and it's characters are completely fictional intended for amusement purposes only.

Snow Day Number 3

Day three on the captain's log. It is o' niner fifty-three and all is calm. The puppy is playing quietly with his chew toy close to fading into nap time and the child is playing trains quietly in his room. I ask myself, how did I get so lucky this morning when the last two days have been exhausting? I wonder do they see the stress marks on my forehead? The way I rub my temples constantly? Or do they finally need time to themselves?

I am relaxed and ready to pick up my book and get through another chapter. I...
Oh no! What has happened to the quiet I just settled into? The boy has come into the rooom asking me question after question and turned on that annoying hamster that sings "Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. The puppy is whining for attention!

I had three minutes of silence and now I must sign off.

This is you captain signing off, saying "HELP ME!"

Hahaha! Just a little humor to add to the morning mix. Out of the three days we have been out of school this one is by far the easiest... so far.

Recently I received a puppy for Valentines Day. I was so excited and I thought my five year old son would be too. He loves the puppy but he wants my attention the moment I begin to work with the puppy. I can feel the jealousy kick in as both he and the puppy pretty much fight for my attention leaving me running in circles and exhausted by the end of the day. At least there is a full day of school and errands to run throughout the week and a boyfriend to help out for a few hours too.

Would I trade this moment? No. It's not going to be forever and watching the puppy grow alongside my son will be wonderful to watch.

The Joy Of Ice Cream

I'm sitting on the couch in my pajamas enjoying a huge bowl of vanilla bean ice cream from Braums. The evening news is on and I'm thinking maybe just maybe I should rethink this moment. Then I think nah... these are the moments I live to enjoy.
I am training myself to be ready for spring and summer when I can start dressing lighter. I really aim to look my best now that I have devoted myself into training to become an aerobics instructor. I am sure that eating a bowl of ice cream late at night and washing it down with a soda just isn't going to help me get into my desired body shape. But my will to behave in the winter is weak. It's even weaker now that I am comfortable in my relationship and he also has a love for ice cream.

So what do I do now? I say eat in the late afternoon or early evening and skip the soda!