Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Birthday Fear

I have never felt fear of what could be happening the next day until my boyfriend said, "Oh baby, I have big plans for your birthday." His smile was so wide, the corners of his mouth could have reached his ears. I tried to keep a poker face when I laughed. Inside though, I was screaming "OMG! He's not really going to go through with it, is he?" The hour's are quickly dwindling away and my night will be restless. I will toss and turn the entire night...

If you are curious to know what I fear... it's that big embarrassment that he promised. Though I am positive that he can't pull it off... or can he? What is that big embarrassment going to be?
"I just want to make your birthday as memorable as mine," he said grinning. That grin had orneriness written all over it.
"ACK!" I screamed out.
Here I am trying to study for an exam but my mind is anywhere but focused. How do I get back to my studies? I think for the night I am at a loss.

So sweet cheeks if you are out there listening (and I know you are)... your plan already worked! I am terrified to come home after school! Whatever you were planning you can go ahead and cancel it. My birthday is already memorable. I love you baby.

Now I wonder... did that work? Hahaha! Don't worry, I'm a good sport. And whatever happens, I will love it.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Cold Night Camp

The greatest thing about camping in cold weather is when you have someone to snuggle up next to. I am not one for cold temperatures but sometimes it's fun to put yourself to the test. To see just how well you can handle something that you are not prepared for.

So this weekend, I gave it a try. I spent one very chilling night braving the cold. My chattering teeth stopped when I snuggled next to my beloved. Wrapped in his arms, I felt a warmth surround us. My puppy curled himself up at our feet. I fell asleep easily in our warmth. I tried to prepare myself to "rough it" an entire 24 hours.

To my surprise, I slept longer than I had in a very long time (10 hours). I made it through the night wrapped up tight. Between the puppy keeping my legs warm and my beloved keeping the rest of me warm, I now knew camping for a week in temperatures above 45 degrees was something I could handle.

As long as they had a bathroom!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Blending Families

When two people fall in love and have children from a previous relationship, it can be difficult to combine the two families. Especially when they have just one child a piece and they are close in age.

I have been very blessed that my son loves playing with my boyfriend's daughter and she with him. They are both a joy and laugh almost the entire time they are together. We run into an argument on occasion but that comes with the territory. They are young and used to having complete attention from us. I think it's cute when they try to one up each other.

I never thought that his daughter would try to make my son jealous and at the same time, my son demands that my boyfriend and I seal the deal so that he and his daughter can live with us. I don't know if I were I his shoes I would want that. But then again, maybe having someone to play with other than mom may seem entertaining even if there is a fight every once in awhile.

All I can say is that it feels like family when we are all together and I absolutely love it; Good times and Bad times.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

"Study study study," I said and yawned. "No time for sleep."
I went through my playlist and turned on the cycle playlist as I researched the answers for the exam online. I studied until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

"ATP is chemical energy," I mumbled. I opened my eyes and giggled. I studied in my dreams. I yawned and stretched. I slid out of bed and headed into the kitchen to power up the laptop and make a pot of coffee. Two hours before I get my chance to team teach for fifteen minutes. I wanted to be prepared so I wrote out cues on index cards as I listened to the tempo of the music.
My son walked into the kitchen rubbing his sleepy eyes and leaned against me. I wrapped my arm around him and stood up, continuing to cue aloud and made him breakfast. He was silent the entire time. After a good hour of practicing the four songs, I felt confident that my teaching would be successful.

After school, my son wanted to ride his bike without training wheels. I watched him gain confidence as he pedaled faster, balancing himself. I was so proud and began to relax. I grabbed my study guide and as I began to read, I heard my son shout out "and hover!"
I looked up at him and laughed as he continued to say it in almost perfect count.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Touch of the Light Switch

I woke up and flipped the light switch. I jumped as the light bulb burst. I laughed and went into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. I flipped the light switch and again the light flashed bright and then went out. I shrugged my shoulders and turned on the light over the stove and made a pot of coffee. I inhaled deeply taking in the coffee's aroma and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. I flipped the switch and a bright flash again!
In a matter of thirty minutes, I managed to flip three light switches and watch three bright flashes. I was afraid to touch another light switch for the entire day.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The love of a child is oh so sweet. I couldn't imagine life without my son. This morning he misunderstood what my mother and I were speaking about. She tried to give me the money back that I put in her gas tank when I borrowed her car. I told her no, keep it. She handed it to my son and told him that if I won't take it then he can have it. Of course I was frustrated and told him to put it in his money bank.

On the way home, I looked back at him. He seemed upset.
"Bubby, what's wrong?"
"I want you to have the money," he said.
"Why?"
"I want you to have it so you can pay to get married."

At that moment I wanted to laugh but I didn't. I smiled and told him, "Thank you but keep it. You may want to buy something with it later."

Friday, March 18, 2011

Yesterday the temperatures reached up near eighty degrees. It was warm and the sun was inviting us to stay out in the yard. So we did.

Two days ago, my son played with his cars and the puppy chewed on his rawhide while my boyfriend and I raked up the leaves. Something I should have done last fall. The sun began to set and we had filled up the five bags we had. It was time to quit for the night.

Yesterday, I finished up the leaves and began picking up broken branches and sticks that covered the yard. The sun was still out and I still felt energetic. I went into the front yard and cleaned out the flower bed and raked the yard. I worked on the yard again until the sun began to set.

It felt wonderful to get outside and do something other than watch television or play the Wii. I am ready to enjoy the great outdoors.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Dreaming

Last night I had a crazy dream...

I went in to team teach a cycle class. I was completely prepared but still nervous. I knew most of the people in this class and I knew they were serious about a good workout. I plugged in my Ipod and all of my playlists disappeared. I began freaking out as I tried to teach without music, missing every cue. My Ipod wouldn't play a single song. The other instructor tried to get my music to work but it was no use. By the end of class I had taught horribly in complete silence. I told them that I was sorry. But they were frustrated and walked passed me grumbling about not getting a good workout. I told them don't worry I won't be teaching this class again. They were pleased with that response.

But my dreaming didn't stop there. Thank goodness my dream finished with happiness. I dreamed that my boyfriend and I sat on the couch with his daughter. We were talking about the future when he gave me a sly look and pulled a box out of his pocket. He whispered into his daughter's ear and she giggled. He opened the box just enough for her to peek in. I tried to look. He shut the lid and smiled at me. I giggled.

Then I woke up. So I went from complete horror to something sweet and now I am tired!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Puppy Bonding Time

She heard the puppy whimpering in his kennel. Groaning, she opened her tired eyes and looked at the clock. Six thirty in the morning.
"Why can't he just sleep in," she grumbled.
Slowly, she slid out of bed and walked into the kitchen. She unlatched the kennel door and the puppy jumped out and licked her arm. She giggled and picked him up. She put him outside and went into the garage to get him a bowl of food. A bark at the door let her know he was ready to come in. She opened the door and he jumped up on her. She laughed and directed him to his food, but he was too excited to see her. She sat down on the floor and took a handful of food and offered it to her puppy. He flopped down in her lap and began eating the food out of her hand.

This is my special puppy moment. The one I look forward to each morning. This is our special bond.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Cycle Rush

Today I taught my first fifteen minutes of cycle to a class of about fifteen people. I told myself after a sleepless night that it would be a piece of cake and that I knew this group so... no fear. Yes I said this and then they entered the cycle room. I sat down on the bike, getting myself ready, and I felt the first rush of oh my gosh what am I doing up here? I shook it off and began the workout. My entire body felt like it was shaking. I continued to smile. In this class we have comedians and thank goodness for them. It helped a little to laugh.
By the end of the first song, only my head and arms trembled and I felt a little more at ease. I made it through one song let's try number two. By the end of the second song my nerves had calmed. I relaxed into a rhythm and felt my confidence building. Another song done and here we go with the next. After the third song I knew I would be fine. The fourth song I had taught to the training class and I had a great time with it. The fourth song was my final song and when it ended, I happily took off the microphone.
They clapped and told me I did a good job. I smiled, pleased that I kept on cue throughout all four songs. Suddenly, my whole world changed. Nausea hit me and my head started pounding. I was relieved that I hadn't eaten prior to class because I most likely would have vomited.

So all I can say is Wow! What a rush! I can't wait to get up there and teach again!

Friday, March 11, 2011

An Ice Cream Peace Offering

Astonished, David stood on the porch staring at the door that Kara just slammed shut in his face. He held tight to the M&M mix she had bought him. How foolish he had been about her eating his ice cream. It's not worth losing the women of his dreams. "It's just ice cream," he mumbled. He knocked on the door and rang the doorbell. The house was silent. He tried the knob, but the door was locked. Again he rang the doorbell. Still there was silence.
He sat down on the porch and began eating the ice cream mix, thinking about her. Missing her more and more by every second she refused to speak to him. He looked down at the ice cream and saw he had eaten half already. He sat it down on the porch. He couldn't eat anymore. Not without her by his side eating her vanilla waffle cone. Ice cream just wasn't the same without her laughing and smiling next to him.
He pulled the ring from his pocket and stared at it. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to see her smile and say "yes" when he asked her to marry him. But now he worried that he wouldn't get the opportunity to ask her.
The door creaked and he turned around to see her standing against the door.
"Kara, I didn't-"
"David, stop. What's done is done. It is the past." He started to speak and she held up her hand. "Let me finish. It was wrong of me to eat your ice cream no matter how much was left. But I was craving it. And I, I-"
He waited for her to say more, but she didn't continue. She shook her head and tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Please don't cry Kara. I don't want to lose you over a cup of ice cream. You see this cup," he said as he picked up the M&M mix.
She nodded.
"You can have the other half. I would share all of my ice cream with you."
She looked up and gazed into his eyes. He handed her the cup and she refused it.
"It's for you," she whispered.
He pulled her chin up and pulled her in close to him. "Kara, what's mine is yours." He kissed her gently. After a moment or two, he pulled away from her and took her hand in his and knelt down on one knee. "Marry me Kara and we will share a lifetime of ice cream together."
She giggled and tears filled her eyes. "Yes, David. Yes I will marry you and we will make many memories while eating ice cream together."

The End

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Trying to explain the phrase "Eat my flesh and drink my blood" to my five year old son was something I just wasn't ready to do. I did the best I could while driving home from church on Ash Wednesday.
"The flesh is bread and the blood is grape juice," I explained.
"Uh huh."
"It symbolizes that we are receiving Jesus Christ inside us."
"So Jesus is inside me when I eat bread and drink grape juice?"
"Well when you take communion," I said.
I didn't know how much further I could go with this before I was completely stumped and was relieved when he changed the subject. I didn't want to say anything he wouldn't understand and I didn't want to say anything that was incorrect.

That night I tucked him in and he said his prayers and told me that he can't wait for his first communion. He also told me he wanted to start going to church on Wednesday evenings and my heart leaped for joy.

The next morning at breakfast I asked him, "Would you like milk, juice, or water?"
"Juice," he said proudly. "I want Jesus inside me."
I chuckled a bit. I didn't say anything to discourage him for feeling so deeply about Jesus. He needs that happiness to know that he has Jesus in his heart. Who am I to take that away from him when that is all I ever wanted him to know?

Elimination Day

Today is total elimination day. Today is the day I go through my to do list and finish tying up loose ends. I have begun with cutting up credit cards (which was very thrilling!) and am working towards my study time this afternoon. Yes my blog is rushed because I am so excited to mark things off my list. Things I had been procrastinating on completing.

My goal in this organization is to give myself extra study time. I really could use it with all that I am trying to accomplish before summer arrives.

Things I have done today include: Cancel two credit cards, approve taxes, file and organize last year's paperwork and most important... send off "My Prince Charming" submission to a magazine. This afternoon, requires complete concentration on the three classes that need my attention. So what am I doing now? I'm headed back into the computer room to finish organizing my life so I can prepare for all that required reading!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Lent

What a beautiful forty days ahead of us. A chance to make a sacrifice for Lent, for Jesus Christ. A sacrifice that maybe sticks with you throughout the years to come. It's not just about making a sacrifice and then cheating on Sunday. At least not to me. To me, it is about bettering oneself and making the sacrifice for the full forty days. It's about kicking a bad habit to the curb and trying your best not to pick it back up after Lent is over. That's my plan. And it's not just about sacrifices. Maybe take the time and help someone in need. Maybe serve food to the homeless. At my church we have coffee and donuts before and after mass. They could always use another person to serve.

For me, Lent is a great time to reflect on my life. To see what I can do to become a more positive role model. I want to be the best that I can be. And I pray that is what we all want.

God Bless

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A Full Plate

Who is crazy enough to add more tasks to their schedule when it is already full? That would be me. With two writing assignments left, I decided to add instructor training to my almost full plate. Now it's over flowing! And how do I respond to that? Bring it baby! Might as well take care of all that I want to do now while I can. I will have plenty of free time in twenty to thirty years. Besides, I'm adventurous and love to be challenged. I think I might have met my match this week, but I will be back in control before week's end.
And then when my schedule lightens, I will go after a degree in teaching! Boy this is one exciting year!

Friday, March 4, 2011

High School Moment

Through the course of life we experienced such a wonderful place called high school. My question is Is there a moment that you wish you could change? Or better yet a moment that you wouldn't change?

In my freshman year, I was approached by a junior and developed quite a crush. After a couple of months what began quickly ended swiftly for him. He left me moping around the school for a month. I don't even remember the days as they went by. I did my school work and talked to no one. Then one day before Christmas break he approached me with one of his friends.

"Remember the bracelet I gave you?"
I nodded.
"I want it back."
"It's at home."
"I'll come by tonight and get it." They walked off laughing.
Meanwhile my heart tore a bit more. By the time I got home, my head had been filled with so many emotions. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to ask for it back! It was a gift! Then I grew angry. I thought of just what to say when he arrived.
A few minutes later the door bell rang. I grabbed the bracelet and walked to the door. I drew in a deep breath and turned the knob. There he stood with that friend who had laughed at me. Heat rose in my cheeks and then, I smiled wickedly. I know I did because he took a step back from the porch. I said nothing and held out the bracelet for him to take. He looked nervously at his friend who's smile had widened. His fingers grazed the golden bracelet just as I let go. It dropped with a thud on the hard cement porch. His mouth dropped open and his buddy busted out in laughter. I smirked and watched him pick it up. Just as he looked at me one last time, I took note of his astonishment, I laughed and slammed the door shut.

To change a memory like that would be absolutely crazy!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Change Of Seasons

If you could control the weather, would you change it?

One of the greatest things about Kansas is the crazy weather. One day it's sixty and beautiful and then the storms move in creating tornado warnings. The next day the temperatures have dropped with the North winds moving in and it's going to snow? Oh boy!

Kansas does experience all four seasons and I love every one of them for one reason or another. Let's start with winter. Though it gets bitter cold, the snow is beautiful as it falls. It gives us a chance to snuggle up with a loved one and our children and drink hot chocolate by the fireplace. We can make snow angels and snowmen. And what about snowball fights! I am the first one to grab a handful of snow and pack it in tight. If you turn your back to me, I will aim for your tush and most likely hit it.

Then spring comes. The light pitter patter of rain drops and the low rumble of thunder is a wonderful sound to wake up or fall asleep to. The first bud on a tree and the green grass that starts to come up from a winter's sleep. Then the beautiful flowers that blossom, giving little boys a chance to pick a rose for a special little girl.

Summer is all of fun fun fun! Who doesn't love to play in the sprinklers in their swim suits or shorts. Let's dive in and take a swim and play volleyball across the pool. Fresh fruit and plenty of fresh lemonade for everyone. The sun stays out until almost nine every evening and there's no school.

Fall. Fall is my favorite time of year. The trees turn from green to yellow, orange, red and then to brown. We rake up the leaves that fall to ground and jump into them creating a Kodak moment. You can wear shorts in the day and change into pants and a light jacket in the evening. The misty humid rain slowly turns chilly and campfires are ready to begin again.

So would I change the weather? No. Mother nature is amazing and I think that one season could get boring quickly no matter how perfect it is.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Ice Cream... A Relationship Killer

I never would have thought that ice cream could change a relationship between two people who were deeply in love. But it happened.

One day not that long ago, David and Kara stopped by the ice cream parlor after dinner. She ordered a twist cone and he couldn't be without a M&M mix. Oh how they loved their ice cream. This was their date night ritual.

Both were full from dinner this night and decided to put the remainder of their ice cream in the freezer. The following day, work called him out of town. It was a two day trip. They stood outside the company truck holding tight to one another, engaging in a deep passionate kiss. They were in love and almost inseparable. Two days seemed an eternity to both of them.

Feeling slightly depressed with the love of her life gone, she ate the rest of her twist cone. She smiled when she saw his M&M mix cup and picked it up to see how much he had eaten. Only four good size bites left. She shrug her shoulders and devoured it.

Two days later, he arrived home and they held each other tight kissing and laughing. She led him into the house and fed him a feast fit for a king.
"That was delicious, I barely have room for ice cream."
She smiled and said, "Umm...baby, when you were away at work, I finished our ice cream in the freezer. We could-"
"What! You ate my ice cream?"
She nodded. "I-"
"Why? Why would you eat my ice cream?"
"But I-"
"No. Forget it. I'm going to bed."
"What? You just got home."
"I'm tired." He turned and went into the bedroom.
"Ooh," she said with steam coming out of her ears. She stomped toward the bedroom and turned the knob. The door didn't open. It was locked. She pounded on the door. "David! Open this door!"
"No," he said.
"David open this door right now or I'm gone."
Silence.
"Ooh," she said stomping towards the living room. She grabbed her coat and the keys to his truck. She jumped in the driver's seat and revved up the engine.
He flew out of the house the moment he heard the truck roar to life. "What are you doing?"
"I'm outta here," she shouted and threw the truck in reverse. "I'm gone baby. I'm long gone."
He stood in the driveway holding the tiny box that held the ring inside, wondering if she was serious. Could she really be gone? Or was she just chilling out at her sister's house?
He sat down on the porch with his head between his knees unsure of what he should do now. Maybe let her cool off and apologize? Maybe he should call her. He sighed and sat up. He looked out towards the street and put his hands on his knees. Just as he pushed himself up, he heard the truck coming back down the street. He watched as the truck pulled into the driveway. A smile crossed his face and his heart warmed when she opened the door. In her hand was a cup of M&M mix ice cream.
"Here you big baby. I was trying to tell you that we could go out for ice cream and I would pay." She held it out for him with a distressed look on her face.
"I'm sorry, Kara. I was just teasing."
She forced a smile. "Apology excepted. Now I know I will never ever touch your ice cream again."
She headed towards the door and he grabbed her arm. She turned to him, astonished. He knelt down on one knee. "Will you-"
"No." She said and shook his hand off her arm. She walked into the house and shut the door.

The End.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

With two assignments left I wonder just what I'll do with my time?
Oh wait... I did an online course where I set the pace. Hrmm...

I am eager to complete this schooling cycle and get back to the novels I dream of publishing. It's crazy that they are just sitting across from me, staring at me. If they could talk, they would be pleading for me to finish them. But how can I concentrate on both plus work and training to become an instructor? I could also add, studying to become a para at the elementary school, which I have testing coming soon too!
All of this is done in the evenings after my son falls asleep or on weekends when he is with his father. I wish I could say I'm overwhelmed but I live for this feeling. I just wish there was another hour in the day that I could spend on the novel. Only problem, I wouldn't want to stop after an hour. It's a good one!