Another piece of mail came bearing my new last name. Every day for the last two weeks, letters and statements have come in with the name change. I'm sure there's another week before it will be completely changed. Every important change, like driver's license, social security and employment records, had finalized today. Staring at that new name felt strange. A bit of sadness washed over me as I thought of my last name, that I clung on to for more than 30 years, disappearing into the vault. But at the same moment I felt that sadness, a new jubilant feeling crept into my heart. Somebody asked for my hand in marriage and promised to love me for years to come. I, in return, made the same promise that I will keep forever. I became somebody's wife and gained an amazing husband.
I am proud to say that I am married to my lover, my soul mate, my best friend, my husband.

Wedding Day Dreaming

"Every little girl has dreamed of their wedding day," my fiancee explained. "It's your day, don't let anyone take your dream away."

As he says this smiling brightly, I nod smiling a little unsure. I never dreamed of my wedding day. Never had the thought that I would marry. All that I wanted throughout my young life was a business. Planning social gatherings for business meetings or family and friends was something I rather enjoyed. But a wedding? How... Where... What... Oh my. I had no idea how to even get an idea of what I could possibly want. All that mattered to me was becoming his wife. But funny enough, I dreamed of marrying him. But most details never made it into that daydream.

A vision of my cowboy standing at the alter in his tuxedo and boots grinning from ear to ear. Hands folded in front holding his hat as I rode towards him in a soft white flowing dress on horseback with my legs draped over the side and no shoes. My curly hair blows in the light breeze and my smile is just as wide as his. After a quick sweet ceremony, we ride away and watch the sun set while I snuggle back into his loving arms.

That was as far as my vision had taken me over a year ago. No more thought about it until... he proposed. My mind went blank. How do I plan a wedding that I never imagined I would have? Where do I begin to figure out what I need? What was I thinking when I agreed to have a wedding rather than elope? Oh my, what have I gotten myself into.

One thing I knew for certain, my father would walk me down the aisle. Even though he lives over twenty-four driving hours away, he had to be the one to give me away to the man who captured my heart. My father had to meet the cowboy I spoke about all the time. It had been a long time since I had seen my father and I anxiously awaited for his arrival. We had lots of catching up to do. Sadly, time was against us. Though he was here for almost a week I barely had the opportunity to visit. The week before a wedding can keep a person very busy.


Okay... breathe... first thing's first. A dress. Something that truly shows who I am. I found it before I could blink my eyes. It was me, or a part of me. And I said Yes to the first dress I tried on. It was so heavy and I could hardly breathe. But it was so beautiful and made of silk with rhinestones that accented the gown all around the dress. It was breathtaking and truly a diva dress. But of course I had to try a few more just to be sure. Why not? It's only been a few minutes and trying on heavy hot dresses is a lot of fun. Right? After three dresses, I wanted to be done. The wonderful Mya at Dress Gallery insisted I try on a couple more that were no longer going to be available. So another and another and still I was dead set on the first dress. Until... the very last dress. It was light and taking a breath was easy. I walked up to the mirror sure to say no and then I looked. I stood speechless. Tears slid down my cheeks. I giggled. It was the dress. Not flashy, not full, not heavy, not silk, not jeweled out like the first one. This one represented the other side of me. This is the romantic dress I envisioned over a year ago. It was truly my deeper inner self beaming out of me at that moment.

The groom chose a long tail coat with a marine vest along with black wrangler jeans and black boots. He was so handsome, so gorgeous, so ahhh... hee hee. He took my breath away. He looked exactly how I imagined.

Colors and flowers bring out the most in a person. And so choosing flowers and colors was the easiest decision to make. Orange is my favorite color and is so vibrant. It speaks loudly and is so full of energy and life. Like me! Ryan's favorite color is blue so we chose the marine blue. It represents romance and passion. Bring the two together and it's an exciting contrast that compliment each other full of love and happiness along with energy and fiery passion. Like our love for each other.

The flowers were chosen in the same way. Calla Lily is my favorite flower and Ryan always buys me roses. White Calla Lillies and Blue Roses plus the very complimentary Orange Tiger or Star Gazer Lillies were a must for my bouquet.

 For the reception tables a wild flower mix felt perfect with the rustic barn that we chose. Gerber Daisies and Delphinium along with some Anne's Lace.



  The bridesmaids wore a very beautiful shimmery marine blue medieval style dress. They needed orange Gerber daisies to make it POP!

The wedding was as beautiful as I had envisioned it. Our wonderful friends and family filled the yard while I exchanged vows with my soul mate.

Two Hearts are united as One this day, May 19, 2012, to love, honor, and cherish each other from now until the end of time. Thank you Lord for letting us cross paths.

God Bless

Identity Confusion

Recently, my wonderful husband and I exchanged vows. I thought that once the vows were exchanged and the marriage license was in hand, we were complete. Not so. Since the marriage license has been in my hand I have been calling utility places to get my name changed. From the social security office to the bank to the dental office and everywhere in between. Time can be a challenge though. While waiting for my new identity to come back, I ran into a few encounters. For example, I rented a movie at the video store. When I went to the counter to pay, the young blonde girl looked over my account.

"Hi, may I see your ID?" she asked.

"Um, yeah," I said pulling out both the paper copy and old ID. "I recently got married and so I'm not sure which one you'll need." I giggled. The puzzled expression on her face cracked me up.

This is one of the many times that I have had to present both ID's. Even at the social security office. That one wasn't one to laugh about. They are pretty serious.

It's confusing when everything's in limbo. Which name do I say? Which name do I sign? Do they think I'm stealing someone's identity? Do they think I am crazy? or maybe they understand because they remember the route to getting married.

All of these questions rush through my mind the moment they ask me for my identification. Inside I'm laughing, but I don't want to laugh out loud just in case. I do however keep all of the paperwork with me including the marriage license. That way I have proof of who I really am.

The cursor flashes on the blank screen waiting for the first word to be typed. It waits patiently. No response is given. How long will it flash before a key is touched?

Blank.
Empty.
Nothing.

It seems an eternity before the first letter has made an appearance. The first word is finally typed. Then deleted. Then typed. Now a complete sentence. Then deleted.

The cursor flashes patiently. There's no urgency. Just silence.

The Road To Success

The road to success is only successful if you try to succeed. In other words, success isn't going to fall into your lap. You have to throw yourself into the lion's den and find a way to survive. Nothing is free or comes cheap without a significant loss in the end. Hard work is the only way to achieve your goals.

For me, it's publishing my novels. I have spent thirty days drafting, two years in creative writing courses while revising my manuscript, and a year ago researching publishing companies. Now the big finish... this last year, I have one nothing. Nothing. NOTHING!

It's amazing the excuses one can make to avoid rejection. Success doesn't come from sitting around hoping. Success is hard work. There are no excuses for waiting until the right time. It's always the right time. For me the right time began three years ago and is still waiting on me.

So don't be like me and become a couch potato waiting for an opportunity to fall into your lap. Go out and seize your success. My adventure began three years ago. Today it's time to take another positive step towards the dream. And I already have. The query is ready and the research continues. A list of agents already in hand and out in the mail will go the submissions. Now we're heading towards the road to success...

Unnecessary Stuff

Today... it's time to clean the house. Not just a simple every day clean. But time to go through each room and decide if the "stuff" is worth keeping. In two years, the accumulation of "stuff" is quite outrageous. It's time to figure out how to downsize all the unnecessary "stuff" that grew over night.

Starting with the closets was the easiest. Purses, shoes, clothing, belts, blankets, and tons of odds and ends were packed tight into any open space or shelf. That's not even touching the children's closets. Their closets were filled with toys and books that haven't been acknowledged in some time. Layer by layer the closet became empty, or so it seemed. Let's just say after two hours one closet is done. It's nice and tidy and only half of the contents are back in place. If only it could stay that way!

Moving on to the children's rooms took just as long. With all the unnecessary "stuff" packed inside, finding a box for the outgrown clothes and toys wasn't too bad of a chore. But there were many boxes needed. Hopefully they won't notice what is missing before the big sale. And hopefully they won't notice then.

Today's society has too much unnecessary "stuff." It's time to cut out the less desired items and enjoy what is truly worth keeping. It's a time to limit buying what will just sit in the back of the closet for years to come. This is the goal. It will be tough but it's worth a shot!

Deep Connection

Have you ever thought about someone and then they called or text you within the minute?

For the last two years it has been exactly that for my husband and I. It seems as soon as we wonder what the other is doing for lunch or needs something, the phone rings or the text comes. There was a couple of times I wanted to ask a question and he sent a text that answered me before I even asked! And it would be a random question. It's awesome if you ask me.

If you put us together, JINX is the word. and saying JINX is also perfectly timed. Before long we won't even have to speak because we will know what the other is saying. Thank Goodness for the times he cannot read my thoughts. Everyone needs space. Especially inside one's head!

Adjusting to Marriage

It's been two and a half weeks since we said our vows and it still feels unreal. On occasion when speaking of my husband, I pause before I say "husband". A tingling feeling rises in my chest and I cannot help but smile. We've been together almost two years now. Adjusting from boyfriend to fiancee to husband has been interesting. How funny just a change in one's status can feel very different, almost weird.Yet every time someone says to me, "your husband" or he calls me his wife or uses my new name, I giggle. It's amazing how at ease I feel after signing a piece of paper and saying "I do."

As far as being married, it's nice to finally relax and not worry about all the planning for a wedding. Now we can snuggle up in each others arms watching television while enjoying a yummy ice cold treat or bowl of popcorn.

Start of Summer

The day started out humid, yet cool. It wouldn't last though. By eleven a.m. the humidity and heat rose almost twenty degrees. Just walking to the car, sweat beads formed and multiplied on my forehead and then ran down along my cheeks. It's too hot to fish over the dock of the lake. The water is still too cold to swim. So what can we do in this in between stage?

Bowling. There is a site online that allows children to bowl two free games daily all summer long. My son was ecstatic because he just finished a bowling 101 class where he received his very own bowling ball and a bowling shirt. This is a chance for him to practice what he learned and to burn off all that extra energy. Two games is perfect. That is all he will last anyway. And his smile was so wide it reached his ears.

When the weather isn't cooperating, come join us and bowl!

The Morning of the Wedding Day

At first, I thought I heard rain drops against the window pane. My restless eyelids flew open and I looked across the room toward the window. Whew... no rain. Just a beautiful sunrise accompanying the heavy winds raging outside. It was merely a tree branch tapping the glass. Giggling, I stretched my arms out and yawned. In less than twelve hours, I would marry my handsome cowboy. The man who opened my eyes to trust and commitment. Most of all, to love. How surprising that I should be wide eyed and bushy tailed with the restlessness of the night before. Every detail of this day overplayed it's part in my mind. And yet, it didn't feel possible that this day was finally here. My heart raced with excitement. Jubilant yet yearning to be in the arms of my soul mate, I waited patiently for the busy day to begin. At six am, not a soul was around me to help the day progress. I wanted to call the love of my life, but I refrained.He would still be asleep. Or would he be just like me, restless and anxious? I closed my eyes tight and tried to coax myself back to sleep. It was no use. I turned on the television and watched the movie playing. It was a sweet corny romance about true love. Something to keep me entertained until the house awakened.

By the time the movie ended, the house stirred. Little bodies came in to see if I was awake and giggled running away. It's now eight am and there is nine hours left. I turned to another movie and waited for my best friend to come into the living room and join me. I thought of tasks ahead and hoped that my fiancee would remember to pick up the flowers, knowing he wouldn't forget because that's not like him.

My phone rang and it was my mother excitedly talking about the wedding. Telling me that my fairy tale day was finally here. I believe I have been in this fairy tale for the last two years. Today is the end of the fairy tale but the beginning of the happiness forever after.