This is 40

After watching the movie This is 40, I was left in a rather weird and silent mood.
Two things:
1. I am not forty. (yet)
2. I don't have a right out of college marriage because I got pregnant.

So, maybe my thoughts are biased with my lack of experience on decisions made because of being pregnant and having to get married when I'm not ready. However, how can two people coexist under the same roof and completely despise the other for twenty years? How can they live continuing to scream and yell and fight night after night with pure hatred about their lives with each other and in front of their children, who resembled their parents with their same yelling and fighting and hatred.

For me, that life just doesn't seem full of happiness, but of misery and regret. A house of silence would be more comforting than that, though being in a relationship where there was a lack of communication is still unsettling.

This helps me to appreciate that I found my soul mate and that there is open communication between us. Our house is filled with laughter and love especially with our children which guarantees a long and healthy life. Don't get me wrong, every family has their moments, but we work ours out at the moment it begins.

Remember, life is what you make of it and can end without a warning. Live life fully and make many blessed memories that your children (if you have them) can pass on to their children and so on. Most importantly, make life memorable and full of happiness.

"If you ain't laughing, you ain't living. If you ain't living, then you're dying." I can't remember who said this, but these are some of the wisest words I have ever heard and keep close to my heart.

I can remember a time when sleep didn't matter, only the words flowing across the screen as I stayed engaged in writing blogs and story ideas until the early hours of the morning and still had enough energy to to enjoy activities with my child all throughout the day with only a catnap to entertain me. But now, I cannot find the energy to stay up all hours of the night to write nor even just two. I struggle to stay awake to write longer than an hour after I begin or tire out after an hour the next morning. My mind swirls with ideas and yet I barely get them onto the paper (or rather my laptop) before they start to fade.
What happened to that fire that never burned out? How did I become one who preferred sleep to writing. That's not the Lyana Jo I've known nor am I ready for the new Lyana Jo to take over and slow down the writing career. There are many great story ideas written and spoken on my digital recorder that need to be shared with the world. So many that even I get tickled as I listen to an idea that ignited a spark in me from the vivid visions I once saw clearly just a few years ago.
Just the other day, while driving back from the video store to rent a movie to watch with my son, I had an idea so vivid pop into my head as I stopped at the red light. One that triggered a new excitement that I thought died when the cowboy had proposed to me or even the year prior to the engagement. The battle to stay awake long after an hour still lingers and I will not give up the fight to focus more time into what I love to do most. That is a promise I plan to keep.