Wedding Planning

Wedding planning can definitely be a nightmare! With all the preparation and decision making, it's a wonder not every Bride to be is a Bridezilla. The fact that every bit of preparation requires a deposit and must be made months in advance to reserve the date only adds to any Bride's stress level. Aiming for a simple small wedding adds up just as easily as a big one if you're not paying attention or asking the right questions. But what are the right questions to ask? Once you ask the first question, it usually starts a trend of spiraling questions from the service host, which can lead you into wondering what was the question to begin with. At the Bridal Expo, I couldn't remember what my name was towards the end of the show! It was definitely information overload. But well worth it. After a good night's rest, questions and planning ideas flooded my brain and now I'm revved and ready to bring each piece into motion.
If you are unsure, call them and ask more questions. I stress this. It's better to make sure everybody is on the same page. And remember, it's supposed to be a spectacular event so make sure that satisfaction has been met. And it's also supposed to be your day to remember and celebrate. So, don't try to bring the whole city into the country. It's more hassle than it's worth and will leave you puzzled and second guessing as well as emptying your pocket book. Sometimes it's better to stand back and get a good look. And listen to other ideas from the people who know you better than you know yourself. And remember to SMILE! It's YOUR day!

The day started off with nothing going right. I couldn't imagine leaving the house at this point. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. But not today. I can't. I must go forth standing tall and keeping my poker face. Three hours and counting to the worst moment of my life. The time where I must stand and face him. It's time for the truth though unwarranted to come out. It's time to end this horrific tale and find the bitter peace that lies ahead. Colder than the weather outside beats my heart. All I feel is evil, terrifying evil. It's just a moment in time when all this is over. What will happen to me? I don't know. I don't care. Ending this misery is all that matters now.

A sneek peek...

The curtains waved as the winds howled, blowing in the coldest air of the season. I shivered and draped a fleece snowflake blanket over my shoulders and walked up the stairs to make a cup of apple cider. Anything to get this chill out of my veins. I looked out the window and saw the first flurries of the season swirling in the air. Again, I shiver. I am not ready for this sub zero temperature that lay ahead. I prayed it would pass right by. The coffee machine beeped and I rushed over to grab that cup of hot apple cider.
BANG!
I spun around towards the noise. The family picture lay on the floor with shards of glass scattered around it. I looked up at the wall, clueless. How could this have fallen? I slowly walked over and bent down to pick up the frame, careful not to prick my finger.
I cannot help but stare into the photo. Into my late husband's eyes. I sat down on the cold hardwood floor and traced over his profile. "Ouch," I whispered putting my finger in my mouth. Tears stung my cheeks as I looked at the man who captured my heart. The only man I would truly ever love. I missed him. Oh God I missed him. If only I could see him one more time. One more day and my life would be complete.
"Oh Johnny," I sobbed. Just then I felt a light touch on my shoulder. I screamed. It was gone. I looked around me. No one was there. "Johnny?" I trembled. "Johnny, is that you?"
Silence. I waited for over an hour and still silence. Did I imagine it?

Happiness In Love

Another month marked in our book. How do I feel about my Redneck Romeo? So crazy in love as ever. I can't imagine a day without him. He has truly showed me what happiness feels like in a relationship. No worries, my son is always going to be the highlight of happiness in my life. But when you meet that special someone who sweeps you off your feet and then whisks you away to the top of the castle's tower and asks you for your hand in marriage, you feel that forever. Forever. I never imagined that forever could feel so... Amazing!

What keeps that fire burning? I honestly don't know. It's just so... natural. So easy to love him. Maybe this is when you realize that this is your soul mate. The one you're destined to be with. Every time I think about us, I giggle. We are like two kids as giddy as can be in puppy love. But this is deeper than puppy love. This is what love truly feels like.

So what is love? Love is self less, love is humble, love is blind, love is eternal, love is warm, love is natural and easy. Love is when the little things don't even bother you. Love is laid back and relaxing. Love is when you are the most vulnerable. When it comes to love, you want to give all one hundred percent (or more if it were possible) to keep the other person happy. Love is when laughter finds you and you can't stop laughing and smiling, hugging and squeezing. Love is when your heart flutters when you see your soul mate walk in the room smiling.

I would do anything for my Redneck Cowboy. He is my soul mate.

Bridesmaid Selection

The toughest part of planning a wedding, is picking the bridal party. Particularly the bridesmaids. I never realized how tough this would be until I sat down to decide. I have quite a few close friends and then I have friends that have been dear to me for years that I rarely speak with. Not to mention my beautiful sisters.

So how do you choose? For me, I chose who I have been closest to. Who knows me inside and out. But to announce this select group was not easy for some to handle. To make things worse, they may never speak to me again. What does that say about them? Maybe they weren't true friends to begin with. This decision didn't come easy, yet it did. Each of my bridesmaids represent something meaningful and special for more than just me. They represent a group of special friends who mean the world to me.

Let's start with my maid of honor, or matron of honor. My sister whom I spent an entire life with. Through our many fights growing up to the exciting moments of sharing pregnancy together and our strong friendship that has lasted over our lifetime as siblings. She's the one who knows me inside and has always been there for me as I am always there for her. So many times we have fought struggles together and so many more to come. I love my sister and would do anything to keep her laughing. But I will also be that shoulder she needs to cry on, no matter the hour.
She represents my sisters as well as our family.

Then next to her is the truest of friends who has never been judgmental and has always listened to me pour my heart out. She is the shoulder I have cried many times on and the one I have shared my deepest thoughts and dreams with. This is not one-sided by far, she too confides in me. I was a train wreck when we first began our adventure together and it's funny how much I've grown up since the beginning of our friendship. She is the most selfless person I have ever met and I tend to think the easiest person in the world to talk to about anything. That's what we did quite often. Talk and Rock band. We would play dress up and sing the night away almost every Saturday night. There were also long serious talks between us during our playtime together. We dreamed together and she helped me focus on my writing. She helped me set up this very blogsite.
Then, I found myself ready to explore a country world. (Not anywhere near her favorite place to be, though I tried to get her to come out.) I love her and I would do anything for her. Anything and anytime.
She represents my closest of friends I met in a very wonderful moms group. A group of the most caring and fun gals who I miss dearly. I am hoping that one day life will slow down just a tad so we can all get together again.

Next is my country world friend of dancing the night away. She is the one who introduced me to my beau. She is the one who has a very parallel life to mine. All of the stages and similarities in our lives is incredible. How can two people have so much in common? This built and strengthened our friendship into what it is today. She is the one who I had to drag out to dance the night away. We learned how to two-step together and learned to line dance. I even taught her how to eye flirt! Haha! Well, look at her now! She is having the time of her life with the man of her dreams. She claims if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have met him. What a cliche. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have met the man who swept me off my feet (which works with her man). I am so happy for her new found happiness and she too is one I will be there for all the way until the end of time.
She represents my line dancin', two-steppin' friends and is so important to the bridesmaid package since she introduced me to that urban cowboy I am engaged to.

So who accompanies these gals? Let's see My sister, his brother. My best friend, his best friend. And last but not least, the two who helped us find each other and watched as the stars aligned perfectly. The two who introduced us to our forever journey of never ending happiness.

Thank you gals for being the most wonderful, and heart warming gals a gal could ever ask for. I am honored that you would be a part of the bridal party. I am excited to have you as my bridesmaids and I can't wait until we can go and explore the wedding world together! Watch out world, here we come!

October 29...continued

After dinner I thought we were coming home to change into the perfect haunted house attire. T-shirt or sweat shirt and jeans along with some really good running shoes. The haunted house we planned to attend had four stories of scare-ific terror and adventure. My heart raced just thinking about it.
My boyfriend took a left rather than a right, opposite direction of the house.
"Um, where are we going," I asked.
"I want to show you something before we go to the haunted house."
"Can't I change first?"
"No. You look beautiful."
"I can't go to the haunted house in this dress!" I exclaimed. "It would definitely be one of those nights where the house has an escaped asylum patient and we all get murdered. I'll be the first to go because of my shoes!"
He laughed. I sighed. "Please, I want to change."
"No. Just wait. We can always go back and change in a bit. You look really nice."
"Grrr..."
"It's rare that we get all dressed up. Why rush to change back?"
Comfort, I thought. But I let it alone. I had no idea what he wanted to show me. At the same time, it was thrilling to not know.
He took a turn, one he didn't remember, and said he thought he was lost. I asked if he could give me the address and I would punch it into the navigator system on my phone. Of course he said, not to worry because he could find it. Goodness, it had to be a complete surprise!
The car stopped.
"Do you know where we are?"
I looked up, it resembled a historic church. I shook my head.
"My buddy told me about this place, he said it is quote unquote haunted."
Ooh, my interest peaked. We walked up to the doors and he used a key to enter. He continued to explain that we were able to look around and have a little snack if we wanted to. I shook my head. I wanted to see and hear all the scary stuff. As we walked by, I noticed two other couples in the dining area.
My boyfriend walked down the hallway, "I know it's this way," he said motioning for me to follow him. We walked up the stairs down another hallway and up more stairs. It was unfinished and looked rather creepy. My heart raced as we went up another set of stairs and into a dead end. Or so I thought. He pulled the latch on the door and opened it wide. I looked up to see the sun peeking from behind a cloud. He stepped out and onto the ground of the tower (which I had no clue was a tower) and offered a hand to me. I stepped out and felt a light breeze blow across my face.
"You can see all of the city from here," he said from behind me. I looked down and saw the river and up to see the buildings of downtown. It was breathtaking.
From the corner of my eye, I saw something move quickly. I spun around to see what it was.
My boyfriend was down on one knee.
At first I was dazed. I'm sure the blank look on my face wasn't too comforting. slowly he pulled something out of his pocket and I realized what he was doing and my heart burst. "OH!" I thought.
"Lyana Jo, will you marry me?"

I stood speechless for a moment. I wanted to shout out YES for the world to hear, but I had a plan. You see, in February he had told me that one day this year he would ask me a very important question that will bring an even bigger smile to my face. Here it's the end of October.

"I promise you one day this year, I will answer that very important question," I said and smiled.
"Oh, no, no, no. I need an answer now," he laughed.
I nodded my head. "Yes. Of course, YES," I said, giggling. Tears stung the corners of my eyes as he gathered me in his arms. I couldn't stop giggling and definitely couldn't let go of him either.

I never thought he could pull it off as a complete surprise, but he did.