One of the greatest women in my life, my son's grandmother, had passed away recently. Though I am relieved that she is no longer suffering, I miss her and wish we could have that lunch I had put off for so long. Why do we let little squabbles keep us apart when life is so short? That I am not sure of. I had mentioned once upon a time that I have never regretted anything. Now I have one.
Lunch was a simple request, and one I agreed would be wonderful. But I couldn't bring myself to meet her for lunch. Now, I cannot have that lunch with her, no matter how much I desire it. I know why I never made it. I feared the topic of my recent separation (1 year ago) from her son. I didn't want to answer what went wrong, because it would not be fair to tell her. She was a great woman, and a very caring mother who had a hard life. My ex, her son, meant the world to her. Who am I to ruin that perfect image she had of him?
I did find a way to make peace by writing her a letter and placing it within her casket. Explaining my feelings without making her roll over in her grave was quite easy. I know she is watching us from above, standing next to her husband and son, hoping for the best and watching her grandchildren grow.
May she rest in peace knowing she was loved by many.
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