Fangtasia Night

Last night I ventured out to Fangtasia night at the Shadow. I couldn't believe how much work they put into that place for a chilling thrilling weekend. I only wish I saw more vampires! Every room, every inch was decorated, from dripping wax candles and black rose centerpieces to spider webs, even having true blood on tap. Oh, that was yummy! O negative was just my flavor. They had Shadow dancers as well.
I had seen so many wonderful costumes including the Oxy man. I had to have a picture with every awesome costume. I know Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze Chip N Dales (Saturday Night Live skit) were there. Also, I believe it was the bounty hunter, not to mention Brett Michaels and Slash, a couple of vixens, plus a taco. Yes, A taco arrived with a man dressed in a pancho and sombrero. Also, a jayhawk fan in his pajamas. A couple of escapees and a police officer. Too bad no fire fighters. I was a flapper, Clara Bow. Should I be proud of that? Why sure, it's not like I truely am her. The rumors about her are quite interesting.
My short red dress with it's sequenced belt, was a hit. I love props, so of course I made sure to get the long cigarette holder and carry around a drink all night. Though it was hard at times, those long black gloves were quite slick. I also had a red headband and a feather for my hair. Why stop there, right? I wrapped my hair in a bun on my left side and left a few curly strands loose on the right. My shoes were thick closed toe black heels about three inches or so. The most exciting part, I played the role. It was stimulating to turn the tables and flirt with those fun guys. I believe I may have made an impression last evening. I am still bummed that I didn't see any vampire costumes. Maybe everyone thought there would be too many. Hmm... maybe tonight I might see a vamp or two.
What's great about dressing up? When I go back on a Thursday night for dancing, they more than likely won't recognize me.

A Weekend Getaway

What a great idea! Let's get nine friends and whisk them away to a log cabin just outside a town with a population of 400 or less. A beautiful cabin sitting on a man made lake, surrounded by a forest filled with trees and shrubs on one side and an open range for horses to roam on the other. As I walked around the land, I saw a rope hanging from a tree over the lake. I chuckle a bit, what memories that rope must have made. Maybe I'll just add to it! Not far from that there was a rickety old bridge, which was breaking on one side. Turning to my left I saw what looked like a tree house, or maybe a place to hide while hunting quail. I climbed up in it, Oh what a view. There were horses, three to be exact, an old outhouse, and a cute little bunk house that matched the log cabin. I could go on and tell you all the amenities in that cabin, but then I'd never make it to the friendship I endured. It is breathtaking inside and out. Completely made of pine and mexican type tiles. If I could buy the place, I would in a heartbeat.

As soon as we arrived, we had a hard time opening the door. Funny enough, it was already unlocked. A few pictures later we ran for the rooms throwing our belongings on the beds of our choice. I truely felt selfish picking the room on the upper level, but I couldn't help it, the room was astounding. After unloading our belongings, we rushed for the kitchen. Getting out the booze and cooking up some pizzas, making some snacks and chatting continuously over each other.

Several of us wanted to venture out on a walk and take fun pictures, that I can't wait to see. We stopped to see the horses and I wished I could go riding. I have been on a horse a couple of times, riding bareback, and wanted to saddle one up and roam through the open range. We checked out the bunk house, which was absolutely adorable, and headed back in for more food and conversation. Two brave souls jumped into the lake, it was bitter cold, yet cheered them on. We decided to play a game and had a blast. Then the game changed into maybe something a little too daring, the game I never. Of course there's that saying, what happens here, stays here. I will honor that code, so sorry. After humiliating ourselves, we jump in the Traverse and venture on to the little Karoake bar, the only bar in town. It was rather funny hearing a guy counting how many there were of us. The looks we received were mixed and curious. I thought for sure, we were going to run into trouble. One young woman had ran into a tough time with other women, and frowned upon us entering the bar. There were a couple of times that made me think of Sweet Home Alabama as well. I listened to the locals Karoake and ran when it was our turn to sing, we were completely awful. But some took the fall, kudos to you. It was a small bar and yet when the gals scattered, it was hard to keep up with them. When it was time to go, I admit I was ready (not normal for me), but some didn't want to go. Finally, all loaded up and traveling back to the cabin, some crashed instantly as others (including me), were still wound up and very giggly and chatty.
I was the last to crash, I wanted to write. By four a.m. I went up to bed. I really couldn't sleep, there was just too much excitement. When I heard someone stir, I jumped out of bed (8a.m.) and tried to make coffee. My brain just doesn't function that well in the morning. It was too light and I was embarrassed, how could I not know how to make coffee? I used to make it everyday, darn Tassimo spoiled me. I did run off and get a little alone time to brainstorm on some thoughts I had. It was a wonderful break from reality and I wish I could stay at least another day.

I'm so ready to go back to the cabin and breathe that fresh crisp morning air and snuggle in a blanket on the wooden bench on the deck staring out across the lake and over at the coloring trees.

I'm no handy man

Okay, all right. I cannot believe my luck around here. If this was a house I owned, I'd be tempted to call it a money pit. It's just a rental. Oh wait, not an investment so could still be called a money pit.

Since the day I moved in, things have slowly began falling apart. Day 1 the microwave. I don't even like them and rarely use them so it would have been fine to break. Also Day1 the garbage disposal. That I can't live without! So little things here and there. No big deal right? Well I was proud of myself for hooking up the dryer vent, as it only took an hour. I had no clue what I was doing, especially when I went to search for the part. But somehow I got it. It looked great! I turned on the dryer, and everything worked perfectly. I went upstairs to relax with a good book and a latte. The dryer beeped, yeah it's done. My first load, I'm sooo excited. When I came down the stairs, it was hot. Hmm, maybe I should wait until night time to run it. Then I realized that the hose fell and lint floated around in the air. I sneezed. Geez. I spent a while trying to tighten it up, then giving up and called a relative to help me. Well, that's nothing. My screen door popped off, my window wouldn't lock (already had it fixed!), my son broke the boards that held his mattress on his loft bed, then his closet door went off track. The toilet bubbled, yes bubbled. And tonight, after telling my son that I didn't want to argue, that I was going to bed. "Good night," I said as I yanked the chain on the ceiling fan, above the bistro dinner table, to turn off the light. The chain stayed in my hand and the light went off as I walked into my room. Yep. Now I broke the light. My light I use constantly. I sit my computer on that table and worked until one or two a.m. every evening. What am I going to do? I looked at the chain and grabbed a flashlight. As my son would say, I can fix it. I grabbed the screwdriver and climbed onto the table. I began taking out the screws trying to be careful, I had never taken a ceiling fan apart. I'm on the table and it's killing my knees, I get the first screw loosened and am feeling quite confident. Then the second. Things are looking great. I'm so happy as I remove the third one and somehow I move too much. The screws bounce onto the table and fall to the floor. Meanwhile, I'm holding this fan in my hands, unable to detach it. To make matters worse, I couldn't see how the chain was supposed to attach. What now? My son comes out of his room, and I feel a little relief. After explaining to him why I'm on the table holding the ceiling fan, I convince him to start looking in the carpet for the screws. Now, just to inform you, I just asked a four year old to search for screws buried in the carpet with a flashlight. My arms are getting tired and I sigh when he says, "mommy I found one!" he sets it down on the table and I cannot believe what I'm seeing. It's a bean from a bean dip we were munching on earlier in the evening. I had to laugh. He didn't understand. However, while holding this fan in one hand, and the flashlight in the other, I start scanning the carpet. I'm praying that one will just pop up. One did! I shout out with a tear in my eye, "there's one! Follow the light and you'll see it!" He did exactly that and now I have a screw. Ten minutes go by and no luck. I finally have him stand on the table and hold it with one screw in it. I figure a couple of seconds and I'll find another, if not I'm back to square one. I didn't like him up there but of course he thought it was cool. Sure enough,I found a second one. After screwing it in, I kissed my courageous precious boy and sent him to bed. I continued to comb the carpet and finally found the third screw. Whew... I don't think I'll ever try to take it apart again!
Sadly, I'll still have to make a call to get the light fixed.

The Need for a Child

My sister just recently had her baby. It reminded me of being pregnant with my child. It was the most memorable and terrifying experience in my life. I chose not to find out what I was having, I knew this would be my only pregnancy. I am not one equipped to handle children. I can honestly admit this. However my child, is my most precious experience ever. My child was a biological clock child... yes, they do exist!
I had a dream of a boy fishing on the lake with me. He was the exact image of his father. At that moment, something clicked and I just had to have a baby. I wanted the boy in the dream, the boy who could fish with me. I pestered my long term boyfriend, telling him that he only had two options. One have a baby, or two get fixed. I admitted that I wanted to flush my pills down the drain. That each day, it was getting harder to take them. He freaked of course. We'd been together for thirteen years, and I had never shown a single interest in having a child. Kinda hard to want one when you still haven't walked down the aisle. After a month of convincing and three months of trying, I became emotional and desperate. I hadn't told anyone in my family that I wanted a child, so this next event came as a shock.
I walked into my grandmother's house with my aunt and grandma. She's such a cute, little Japanese woman. I was surprised to see my sister distraught sitting at the table. I had no clue. She started bawling and threw a pregnancy test on the table and everything became a blur. I felt dizzy and angry, as I listened to her talk of this surprise in her life. She wasn't married and not even serious with the father. She said she wasn't ready for this child, it was the wrong time in her life. She had just started school again and enjoyed a single life. I sobbed uncontrollably. My grandma and aunt looked from one to the other not sure whether to laugh or cry. That was when my family learned I wanted to have a baby.
It was close to Christmas, my favorite time of year (next to Halloween). My only Christmas wish would hopefully come true. I bought a pregnancy test and it was negative. I was heartbroken. I asked why my sister could easily get pregnant when it seemed so hard for me.
It was a week or two before Valentines Day and I awoke excitedly rushing up the stairs to take the test. It was five a.m. on a Saturday morning. I forgot my glasses downstairs on the dresser. I took the test and rushed down the stairs. I wanted to see the results, and I honestly don't know how I made it up the stairs without running into everything. I need those glasses! I climb the stairs feeling positive, and look at the tester. It was upside down. I flipped it over and yes I was pregnant! or was I? Did I screw up the test by placing it upside down? I wasn't sure. I called my aunt whom I always hung out with on Saturdays. Yes, she's an early bird. I did wait until seven though. She was so excited and laughing at me. She wasn't sure but said she'd willingly go with me to get another test and take it at her house. So I did. Aunt TJ and uncle Mike along with my grandma were the first to know. Yes! I was pregnant!

I felt as if I was the happiest pregnant person ever, beaming every moment of every day. I proudly walked down the streets showing off my huge belly in every cute maternity outfit I could find. I will admit I had a few break downs, but don't all pregnant women? or women in general?
I can tell you, my baby is the blessing I needed and would never know true happiness without my child.

Running

Running always makes me feel better. The way the sun beats down on me in the early morning, as I enjoy the refreshing cool breeze.

Now that my son has his new big boy bike, he peddals faster, allowing me to run. I can't keep up, yet I'm not far behind. This is my time to think and clear my mind. The wind is pushing against me, I run harder. The cool wind slaps my face. My cheeks and ears are stinging from the cold wet air, but I'm burning up. I can feel the sweat beads forming on the back of my neck. The hair that touches my skin clings to me, I am drenched. I want to shower, but I don't want to quit running. My legs are tired and I can feel the aching of my aging bones. I slow to a walk, my heart is pounding hard in my chest, yet I am laughing. I holler after my son and he begs me for another lap. How can I say no to his precious blue eyes. I cannot run, my legs just won't go. He looks over his shoulder, making sure not to get too far ahead of me. We are almost there, almost home. I welcome the breeze. Closing my eyes, I open my arms and feel the wind blowing all around me, hugging me. I open my eyes to watch the leaves circle up in the air and dance passed me. What a beautiful time of year it is. I can't wait for my next run.

Building the Perfect Guy

Rocking out on the dance floor, I looked over towards the bar and couldn't help but gawk over this very tall, fine, muscular bartender with arms of steel. Though I wanted to say hi, I refrained. Why? you ask. Well why ruin a perfect fantasy. So I imagined what kind of guy he would be... With the help from a couple of my best friends of course!

Physical appearance is only to get me to notice him. Trust me, that's what he wants. He wants a woman to look past his physical attributes. With his height of 6'3", a weight of 250 lbs and able to bench press well over three hundred and fifty pounds, he is quite intimidating. But, that's not all. He looks his best in the color electric blue, which highlights his sexy icy eyes, whether they are golden, topaz, hazel, green or blue, as long as they are light in color. His precious deep dimples and smile warms me so quickly, melting me faster than the wicked witch of the west could when that bucket of water was thrown in her face. He must be thirty-two.

I imagine that he puts out the flames every third day with his buddies at the fire station and builds decks, taking off his shirt showing off his rock hard chest with six pack abs, when he's not fighting fires. Could you imagine being in those strong arms? I could. You should see him bartend that one night a week. Showing off as he tosses the bottle over his shoulder and let's it slide down to mid back before he grabs it to pour me my favorite wicked drink, not spilling a single drop.

I noticed a scar on his forearm; a battle wound from saving the kitten trapped in the apartment on the top floor of a thirty-two story building.

What's really great is the conversation I can have with this guy. He is very inquisitive about the earth and is quite the philospher. He knows my opinions count and listens to everything I say. We can't always agree, but I am the stubborn one. Astrology is very fascinating to him as he lays the blanket out on the grass, popping the cork on a bottle of Champaigne, cuddling up, while he points out Orion and the Big Dipper. Cassiopeia is one of my favorites to search for. He even told me that she was a very vain queen. I was surprised he would know that.

On a slow day at the firestation, he heads into the restroom, locking himself in to read a good book. He doesn't want the guys to see that he loves those romantic suspense filled novels. Maybe, that's how he understands me.

When he asks me out on a date, our first date, he gave me a choice... I could either go with him to see a great rock concert, he was such a diehard 80's hairband guy, or I could go watch the college or professional football game of my choice, or dinner and a romantic movie cuddled up by the fireplace of his cozy cabin outside of town. Such a hard decision. Since it was our first, I went with the college football game in my hometown. Go KState! He's always full of surprises and even let me drive his jeep through the mud. That was thrilling!

Now, here's the best part. He was very persistant on dating me, not taking "no" for an answer. He couldn't believe how knowledgeable and intuitive I was. He just knew I was the perfect woman for him and he would do anything to make sure that I understood it. He charmed me with words and flowers and he's the most passionate kisser I had ever meant. I love how he took control and pleased me from head to toe, but he really loves it when I'm the dominant one.

He is attentive and never picks a fight. He knows that I need girls night outs, because friends are important. He would even pick us up if we couldn't drive home. We usually arrange that so we can go back to his place and have that delicious breakfast of omelets filled with veggies and cheese and hashbrowns. He's almost a better cook than I am. I love it when we make dinner together. My favorite night is when we make Lasagna. He serenades Pavarotti while we drink our Cabernet Sauvignon. Oh and he can dance. Whether it's rocking out or going low, being seductive and dirty or waltzing or a little salsa... boy he's got it all.

At the end of the day, we snuggle up together watching whatever movie I choose, since I have such great taste.

Ahhh... what an imagination. Do you think this guy really exists? Probably not, but I won't hold that against the others who come close.

A Toast To Friendship

A life without friends is no life at all.

I have the best friends ever. No matter what crazy foolish mess I get myself into, they pick me up and tell it to me straight. I've been scolded a few times and I lower my head in shame. Though I do not regret my foolishness, I understand that I shouldn't be acting that way. I feel like such a rebellious teen right now and that's really not who I'm trying to be. I have been in limbo for the last seventeen years. With my recent change, I think I've just started where I left off. Oh goodness, that's not where I want to be either.

I am in my mid thirties, but I am told over and over again, that I do not look or act it. No matter where I go, I meet mid to early twenties, not later twenties. So of course immaturity plays on their side. I love seeing how carefree they are and I want to be free. What I am just now realizing is that I am totally free and I am living my life. I like it! It's adventurous. To be able to do almost anything I want is amazing. I say this because I spent so many years asking permission. I never really had a voice even though I used it. Now I am able to make choices that I've always wanted to make. Like buying a new sofa or dying my hair red. Even better, getting a tattoo! I did that. I am rather shocked I did it, but hey... it was totally worth it. Did I get scolded? No. My friends are not judgemental. Thank goodness! But they did say... Are you sure? Did you think this through? You know it's permanent, right? Well, you know my answer.

The greatest thing about my friends; they have been here for me through all my madness and have been that shoulder I needed to cry on. They offer to take me out clubbing so I can dance. They check on me too much then again not enough. They have given me advice I could use and tell me what is not appropriate. They tell me they love me and that I am welcome in their home. That there is the most important thing for me to hear. Hearing someone say I love you and mean it, is a wonderful and warm feeling.

A toast to my true BFF's. I love you gals!