The Need for a Child

My sister just recently had her baby. It reminded me of being pregnant with my child. It was the most memorable and terrifying experience in my life. I chose not to find out what I was having, I knew this would be my only pregnancy. I am not one equipped to handle children. I can honestly admit this. However my child, is my most precious experience ever. My child was a biological clock child... yes, they do exist!
I had a dream of a boy fishing on the lake with me. He was the exact image of his father. At that moment, something clicked and I just had to have a baby. I wanted the boy in the dream, the boy who could fish with me. I pestered my long term boyfriend, telling him that he only had two options. One have a baby, or two get fixed. I admitted that I wanted to flush my pills down the drain. That each day, it was getting harder to take them. He freaked of course. We'd been together for thirteen years, and I had never shown a single interest in having a child. Kinda hard to want one when you still haven't walked down the aisle. After a month of convincing and three months of trying, I became emotional and desperate. I hadn't told anyone in my family that I wanted a child, so this next event came as a shock.
I walked into my grandmother's house with my aunt and grandma. She's such a cute, little Japanese woman. I was surprised to see my sister distraught sitting at the table. I had no clue. She started bawling and threw a pregnancy test on the table and everything became a blur. I felt dizzy and angry, as I listened to her talk of this surprise in her life. She wasn't married and not even serious with the father. She said she wasn't ready for this child, it was the wrong time in her life. She had just started school again and enjoyed a single life. I sobbed uncontrollably. My grandma and aunt looked from one to the other not sure whether to laugh or cry. That was when my family learned I wanted to have a baby.
It was close to Christmas, my favorite time of year (next to Halloween). My only Christmas wish would hopefully come true. I bought a pregnancy test and it was negative. I was heartbroken. I asked why my sister could easily get pregnant when it seemed so hard for me.
It was a week or two before Valentines Day and I awoke excitedly rushing up the stairs to take the test. It was five a.m. on a Saturday morning. I forgot my glasses downstairs on the dresser. I took the test and rushed down the stairs. I wanted to see the results, and I honestly don't know how I made it up the stairs without running into everything. I need those glasses! I climb the stairs feeling positive, and look at the tester. It was upside down. I flipped it over and yes I was pregnant! or was I? Did I screw up the test by placing it upside down? I wasn't sure. I called my aunt whom I always hung out with on Saturdays. Yes, she's an early bird. I did wait until seven though. She was so excited and laughing at me. She wasn't sure but said she'd willingly go with me to get another test and take it at her house. So I did. Aunt TJ and uncle Mike along with my grandma were the first to know. Yes! I was pregnant!

I felt as if I was the happiest pregnant person ever, beaming every moment of every day. I proudly walked down the streets showing off my huge belly in every cute maternity outfit I could find. I will admit I had a few break downs, but don't all pregnant women? or women in general?
I can tell you, my baby is the blessing I needed and would never know true happiness without my child.