I'm no handy man

Okay, all right. I cannot believe my luck around here. If this was a house I owned, I'd be tempted to call it a money pit. It's just a rental. Oh wait, not an investment so could still be called a money pit.

Since the day I moved in, things have slowly began falling apart. Day 1 the microwave. I don't even like them and rarely use them so it would have been fine to break. Also Day1 the garbage disposal. That I can't live without! So little things here and there. No big deal right? Well I was proud of myself for hooking up the dryer vent, as it only took an hour. I had no clue what I was doing, especially when I went to search for the part. But somehow I got it. It looked great! I turned on the dryer, and everything worked perfectly. I went upstairs to relax with a good book and a latte. The dryer beeped, yeah it's done. My first load, I'm sooo excited. When I came down the stairs, it was hot. Hmm, maybe I should wait until night time to run it. Then I realized that the hose fell and lint floated around in the air. I sneezed. Geez. I spent a while trying to tighten it up, then giving up and called a relative to help me. Well, that's nothing. My screen door popped off, my window wouldn't lock (already had it fixed!), my son broke the boards that held his mattress on his loft bed, then his closet door went off track. The toilet bubbled, yes bubbled. And tonight, after telling my son that I didn't want to argue, that I was going to bed. "Good night," I said as I yanked the chain on the ceiling fan, above the bistro dinner table, to turn off the light. The chain stayed in my hand and the light went off as I walked into my room. Yep. Now I broke the light. My light I use constantly. I sit my computer on that table and worked until one or two a.m. every evening. What am I going to do? I looked at the chain and grabbed a flashlight. As my son would say, I can fix it. I grabbed the screwdriver and climbed onto the table. I began taking out the screws trying to be careful, I had never taken a ceiling fan apart. I'm on the table and it's killing my knees, I get the first screw loosened and am feeling quite confident. Then the second. Things are looking great. I'm so happy as I remove the third one and somehow I move too much. The screws bounce onto the table and fall to the floor. Meanwhile, I'm holding this fan in my hands, unable to detach it. To make matters worse, I couldn't see how the chain was supposed to attach. What now? My son comes out of his room, and I feel a little relief. After explaining to him why I'm on the table holding the ceiling fan, I convince him to start looking in the carpet for the screws. Now, just to inform you, I just asked a four year old to search for screws buried in the carpet with a flashlight. My arms are getting tired and I sigh when he says, "mommy I found one!" he sets it down on the table and I cannot believe what I'm seeing. It's a bean from a bean dip we were munching on earlier in the evening. I had to laugh. He didn't understand. However, while holding this fan in one hand, and the flashlight in the other, I start scanning the carpet. I'm praying that one will just pop up. One did! I shout out with a tear in my eye, "there's one! Follow the light and you'll see it!" He did exactly that and now I have a screw. Ten minutes go by and no luck. I finally have him stand on the table and hold it with one screw in it. I figure a couple of seconds and I'll find another, if not I'm back to square one. I didn't like him up there but of course he thought it was cool. Sure enough,I found a second one. After screwing it in, I kissed my courageous precious boy and sent him to bed. I continued to comb the carpet and finally found the third screw. Whew... I don't think I'll ever try to take it apart again!
Sadly, I'll still have to make a call to get the light fixed.