Friday, February 18, 2011

Separation Anxiety

Recently, I felt that my relationship ran deeper on my side. That was a killer because I had never felt love so deeply before. I know I have been wrapped up in this romance that has swept me off my feet. But how is it possible that we aren't on the same level?

It was Monday evening when I answered the phone.
"Hey babe, my phone's about dead. Just wanted you to know so you didn't wait up for my call..." Later in the conversation he says "I'm going to bed early and I'm going to sleep like a rock."

It cut deep into my heart, it was very hard for me to be without him after our weekends together. I felt alone and empty even though I had my son with me. I hated feeling this way because I am very independent, or at least I used to be. I told myself to knock it off. It's just one night and I would see him the next night for movie night.

I understood that in order for me to truly love him, I would have to miss him from time to time. We didn't need to be together every night. I also knew that my life had to revolve and not just around him. He is a wonderful man and I do love him. But I need to quit thinking of our time apart as torture. Being without him in the evenings and sometimes not hearing from him shouldn't bother me. It's the best time for me to get caught up on things I ignore when we are together. And time that I can have a little "Lyana time" to do whatever it is I want to do.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, it's easy to lose yourself in a relationship...I can almost see the heads nodding in recognition as your words are being read. The answer to your problem is in the last few lines of today's blog. Don't put Lyana on hold!

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