Monday, May 31, 2010

Jealous Rage

A jealous rage tore through her and Myrna stormed across the restaurant bar. Her victim, a young blond woman with perfect lips and angelic features, sat across from Jacob. The man whom she thought she would marry.

Myrna grabbed a wine glass off the table closest to her, never yielding from her destination. She was two tables away from them when the woman looked up with a smile and saw her. The woman raised a curious brow and turned her attention back to him.

Myrna halted momentarily. Did she know who she was? It appeared not. Maybe she just didn't recognize her. She marched up to their table and slammed the wine glass on the corner. The young blond shrieked while shards of glass flew in every direction. Jacob stood up, a furious expression crossed his face.

"What is this," he yelled.
"What does it look like," Myrna screamed pointing the broken glass at his chest.
Three of the wait staff had joined them and everyone had their attention on the brewing fight.
"I have spent many nights wondering just what it is you are doing. And then I followed you here," Myrna yelled. Tears began to sting her eyes.
"What? Are you stalking me?"
Jacob looked from Myrna to the young woman across from him. Her eyes were wide with fright.
"Don't look at that hussie. You keep your eyes on me," she screamed.
He looked back at Myrna. "What do you want?"
"That's a foolish question," she said breaking down. When she relaxed slightly, the lanky waiter put his arms around her tightly. She screamed, struggling in his arms and he squeezed tighter. Jacob reached for the broken glass and pried it out of her hand. The three waiters surrounded her and walked her towards the door.
Jacob watched as the police arrived and cuffed her. He walked over to the door, leaving the blond gawking, and met eyes with Myrna as they helped her into the squad car.
"Sir, I need to ask you some questions," a short stout policeman said sternly.
"No problem," he said with a shrug. Jacob looked back at his date and sighed. "First let me take care of my bill." He walked over to the table where the young blond's mouth puckered up and tears filled her eyes.
"I have to answer a few questions. Would you like me to call a cab?"
"No. I can manage on my own," she said, standing and strode passed him, flipping her hair off her shoulder.
"I guess I won't be seeing her again," he smiled at the officer standing next to him.
"Doesn't look like it," he said smiling back. "Are you ready to head to the club with us?"
"Yes. How's Myrna?"
"Angry. I told you not to take her out," the officer laughed.
"Yes James, I've learned my lesson," Jacob laughed. "Let's get out of here."

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Cycle time

I am exhausted and there is no end in sight. I push myself harder but my aching legs are ready to give in. I want to cry out from the pain as it shoots from my calves, up passed my hamstrings, and still spiraling up and around to my quadriceps, but I clamp my jaw shut tight. I can't show weakness, not in here. I must keep going. Tiny beads of sweat are forming on my arms and perspiration is pouring from my hair, dripping down my forehead, along my cheeks and stinging my eyes. I grab my already drenched towel and rest it against my face.

The heat is thickening and the breeze is fading. I reach down for my water, and drink the last drop. Afraid to thirst, I look up at the clock, the end is in sight. I press harder on the pedals and close my eyes, pedaling faster ignoring the agony screaming from my muscles. Five more minutes and I try to push my legs, but they are exhausted. I release the resistance to my bike and my legs speed up and I lose control slightly, only to regain it quickly. Grabbing my towel once again to wipe my heated face while I begin the recovery cool down. I sigh, stretching with a smile. I did it. I accomplished an hour of cycle. I know I will feel it for a couple of days, but it is worth it as it heightens my mood.

Friday, May 28, 2010

A Break Is In Order

How do I find my way back in to the novel that I love? It has been three months since I had touched it and I don't feel that desire I once had. I still have the passion for writing but I almost feel as if a good break is in order. Writing daily is not a problem. I have written several stories and once I get into them, I decide they are too good to blog.

I wonder is it because I'm packing and feel the time crunch on school assignments? My current assignment has been completed now and I hope that I can focus more on the passion I once felt. Maybe I just need a new limb to sprout.

I'm sure I will find the motivation soon. I haven't lost the desire to write at all, but I do find days that I stare at the blank screen. It a guarantee that it won't be long before I have a new string of events to write, as I find inspiration often.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Living In A Box

Though I could use this title as a metaphor, I'm going to use it literally.

For the last fifteen days, I've been packing up what isn't necessary for the big move into my new found independence. Have you ever realized how much time it takes to pack? I have only lived in this place for one year and have accumulated so much. Much more than I realized. I feel as though I'm not getting anywhere until I start looking for say the mixer. It's packed. Or a certain cookbook I haven't touched in three months.

With fifteen days left I am trying to figure out just what I don't need. I never realized how much stuff we use on a day to day basis and I'm thinking, maybe I should try going without. Like "rough it" so to speak. Though I'm sure it will still be a luxury to a lot of people.

We really do take things for granted. That's another post for another day...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sailboat Dreaming

Oh how I miss the wind on my face as I sailed across the ocean to a small island off the Florida Keys.
It has been ten years since that wonderful day in Key West and I can remember the sweet taste of fresh and juicy pineapple as well as the taste of the salty ocean air. I want to feel the sun warm me while the cool breeze swirls my hair around my face. To feel the speed of the wind pushing the sailboat as it glides along the water and even more exciting when the boat leans on it's side. I yearn to take the wheel and guide us across the sea to the relaxing destination filled with palm trees and coconuts. To lounge on the beach with a Pina Colada and stare out at the ocean, listening to the waves roll in with not a care in the world.

Living in the moment even if only just for a moment is exhilarating...

Monday, May 24, 2010

Second Chance

Have you ever wondered if someone deserved a second chance in a relationship?

I'll be honest with you, I'm not one to give a second chance, usually. It seems once the relationship has been damaged, there's no reason to continue. Too many barriers go up and trust or pride is hurt. The rebuilding process sometimes is just too much and I'm not one for wondering, where I am in a relationship. I know conversations via text could be misunderstood easily, but one on one is accurate.
In a heated argument, you say what's on your mind. When the fight is over and apologies are issued, do you ever quit asking yourself if the other meant what was said? Or did you mean to unleash a fury of words that you couldn't remember saying? I think we speak the truth in those arguments and they constantly play over in my mind when I think of that person. A very unhealthy and negative feeling. That is why it's almost impossible for me to give a second chance.

I'm not saying don't give someone a second chance because of something I said. That is just my opinion.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The thrill of the game

I sit in the bleachers on a hot and steamy June afternoon, watching the Royals battle it out with the Cardinals, which is my favorite baseball team. It didn't matter that I was drenched with sweat and gulping water as quickly as I could get it, just being there was exciting. I was shocked that there were more Cardinal fans in the stadium than Royal fans, but that made it all the better. This was my first experience at a professional baseball game and it was one for the memory books. The game was intense with the Royals up a run and the Cardinals fighting back to tie, every inning until the fourth. The Cardinals hit a grand slam and I was elated, jumping out of my seat and cheering loudly until I couldn't breathe. High fives all around and continuous talk of the grand slam lasted throughout the rest of the game. The Cardinals scored eight runs that inning and that determined the game as they ran over the Royals as if they were a doormat.

I cannot wait to experience this thrill again.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Vocabulary

Ah the dreaded word to most people I know. But for me, I love a very in depth vocabulary. Not that I use it with every breath, but there are days when I find myself looking up a word and try to find all it's synonyms and brainstorm to create a story based around the word.

Have you ever taken a sentence and tried to see how you could reword it, with using three syllable words or more? Or try to take a short sentence and add as many big words you could? I do this on occasion just for the thrill. To me it's like going to the gymnasium, some days are better than others, but I am determined not to skip a beat.

My favorite words are three syllables are more and uniquely spoken. I love to hear passionate words within a sentence. It only makes it stronger to one as deep as I. It amazes me, when I find myself running to the thesaurus or dictionary just to make sure I know the chosen word's true meaning.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Moving Forward

It seems like only yesterday I sprung myself out of a complicated situation, and found a sense of peace within myself.

In this last year I have manage to receive a diploma for Novel Writing and have completed a Popular Fiction course at WSU. Now I am still enrolled in a creative writing course online and am feeling more confident everyday that I have a chance to make this dream happen. Not only have I managed to make my dream possible, but I have built up my credit and recently purchased a house.

I feel like life is moving forward in a positive way and I hope that it will always stay moving in the right direction. I'm not saying it needs to be fast paced, but always wonderful. I know there will be bad times. Hopefully, they will be few and far between.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hilarity

Definition: boisterous and high spirited merriment

I spend my Thursday evenings with the girlfriends grabbing a drink at the restaurant's bar or sports bar to let loose. I'm not quite sure why I get so giggly over the most ridiculous things that happen on these nights, but it is well worth it.

The moment I know we're going, I light up and anxiously await. I look forward to the nights that I spend with my girlfriends, as these are the nights we talk about the silliest of things.

One time an old friend had approached me and asked if my gal was my new partner, that I had looked so happy and beautiful. I know my mouth dropped to the ground. I couldn't believe that I could only look beautiful and happy if I changed partner genders. I shout out for the restaurant bar to hear, "Oh no. I like guys, you know guys with big arms." We couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the night and still find ourselves able to laugh about it today.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

True Romance or not?

He stood staring up at the beautiful woman on the balcony with his arms out wide shouting out for the world to hear, "I love you."
She laughs happily with tears in her eyes and her hands over her heart and says, "As I love you."
He climbs up the lattice laced with ivy and jumps onto the balcony and embraces his true love. Their adoring eyes are locked on each other and he very slowly leans in for a kiss.

This is the beauty of true romance and the fictionalized version of happily ever after. But is it truly possible to find a romance like this? Especially in today's society where we are moving faster and are constantly rushing from one errand to the next?

I don't think we have an opportunity for a love like this in this busy life.

Never Look Back

You can never look back and wonder after it is finished, if it was the right decision. It was at the time.

It can't always be the life you had or the life you think you desire. Just push forward and find the one that makes you complete. I find that resolve with my laptop. Don't get me wrong, MR RIGHT is out there for me and I am someone's MRS RIGHT. When the time is RIGHT we will find each other.

Friday, May 14, 2010

An Off balanced Day

Have you ever had one of those days where you just seem to find something to run in to?

Today it started at the end of core class. I took a glance out towards the weight room while waiting on my friend to gather her jacket and water. I turned around and all I could see was a blue yoga mat coming straight for me. I jumped back quickly and am lucky I didn't run into the person behind me. I kicked a chair as I sat down with my cup of coffee and when I went to use the ladies room, I opened the stall and smacked myself in the forehead.

Geez, I'm thinking. What next? Well, never ask that question.

At home -- I saw the patio chair blown over from the strong winds and I bent to pick it up. I just about fell onto the ground but stopped myself by leaning a hand onto the brick wall. It knocked the chair into my shin and I wanted to cry out. I scooted it into the table and turned to throw a bag of garbage away and kicked a metal citronella container and almost fell into the trash can.

What a day...haha

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hillbilly

My son's grandmother calls herself a hillbilly constantly when she tells stories of her past. I think it's the sweetest thing. Her quote is "Oh you know your old hillbilly grandma..." At first, I used to roll my eyes at her and tell her no you're not. But then I realized, she likes it. She used to tell me all the adventures of growing up in the South without owning a car or even a telephone. How she would have to walk about a mile or so to the neighbor's house if she wanted to talk. Could you imagine running out of eggs and needed just one more to make dinner? You couldn't call and ask them if they had any eggs. You would have to walk a mile or so to ask them if you could borrow one.

If you've never listened to stories from the South, you should sometime. Especially if they are like my mother in law's tales. They will leave you in awe.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Guilt

Have you ever felt guilty for something that is out of your control?

I do as I sit here typing on this computer. I am worried about a few people in my life, and I am beating myself up thinking it's my fault. My fault for some decisions that have interfered with their happiness.

Could I truly be that powerful though? Could I truly ruin one's life? I wouldn't believe so, but I feel as if I had. It's not the greatest feeling in the world because I am a friend through thick and thin. I do not like to make enemies or see one hurting. I find myself desperately trying to find a way to make the best of any and all situations. Especially if it can benefit one.

So why am I feeling this way? How can I make it better without risking my happiness along the way? Why can't I be free of this guilt?

These are my constant nagging questions, with no answer in sight.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Flirty

Flirty... What does it mean?

I wanted to tell you a story to show you just what I think flirty means, but it was too good to put into a blog... well too long. So I guess I'll just give another of my wonderful opinions, haha.

To be "flirty" is something I do well, and more in texting. I do most of my flirting on my cell phone because I love to read the responses after the conversation ends.

To be "flirty" is to tease playfully. It can be serious in this play as well. Usually flirting is light and makes the recipient feel good while showing an interest between two people.

A simple phrase of "hey handsome, where have you been all of my life?" or "Hello pretty lady, I don't think I can resist kissing you the next time we meet."

Flirty is fun and light and is borderline to taking a conversation too far. It can be good and it can be hurtful with the end result. But without it, we would never really get a chance to have a little fun and possibly develop a relationship out of it. I will always be a flirt. Always.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I know we have been on a roller coaster our whole life, but it was worth every minute. I know we don't always see eye to eye, but I listen to everything you say to me. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be here in this world today. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't show happiness, or be positive. If it weren't for you I wouldn't know love or show love to another.

Because of you, my son sees the beauty in this world. Because of you my son knows how to smile. Because of you my son knows how to enjoy life. This is possible because you gave me the sight to see, feel, and know why life is worth living happily.

Thank you Mommy for bringing me into the world with love, happiness and free spirited-ness. I have loved you from the day I came into your life and I will love you for eternity.

have a Happy Mother's Day,
God Bless.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Flowers For My Mommy



I walked into the grocery store to get the few items I needed to make dinner. While I looked over the cilantro and jalapenos, my son walked over to the flowers, which were about ten paces from me. I smiled, shaking my head. "What I have I done to my boy."

I love the way flowers brighten up a room, giving a sense of beauty and they smell so wonderful. I try to keep flowers in the family room or dining room to brighten anyone who enters day as it keeps me in that jovial mood.

I now have my items and walk over to my son and he says to me, "Mommy these are your favorite flowers and I'm going to buy them for you." He had the most adorable look on his face and I just wanted to ask him how he planned on paying for them, but I didn't want to spoil the mood. It was a very special moment and I adored the way he carried them excitedly throughout the store telling everyone around us, "I'm buying these for my mommy."

This boy has a way to melt my heart and I will cherish this moment forever.

The Walk

I can feel the cool wind in my hair, blowing it around my face and I close my eyes. A smile touches the corners of my mouth and I have goosebumps. The light sounds of the piano are playing through my ipod as I walk around the path, leading around the lake. I can smell the fresh cut grass and I notice the humidity thickened, rain is near. My heart flutters at the thought of a downpour right now while I walk aimlessly around the path. With several paths to choose from, I am giddy, hoping to find one that will take me deep into the forest. I want to get lost in the beauty that surrounds me. With no agenda I have all day to explore the riches of the forest. I choose path after path, but they all lead safely back to the beginning. A wish for rain, a wish for hope, a wish for a path that leads me to the place I want to be.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Just Writing

Have you ever just sat in front of your computer and wanted to write, but your mind was all over the place and you had no idea what you wanted to say?

That's me today. I have so many thoughts and stories that are popping at me from all directions at the same time, and I can't quite get a handle on it. So I took a look at my blogs and noticed, I write a lot about romantic ideas and depressing events that inspire me to be strong. When I realized this, I decided to open up the dictionary and pick a word at random off the page to blog about. Whether it was a non-fiction or fiction story, it gave me something more refreshing to brainstorm. Most stories on this site are fictional. I have a very vivid imagination and can tell a whopper of a story and I like it!

So when you notice a one-word title, assume it's because I'm broadening my vocabulary. Anything else is up in the air just like me.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Omelet

Gabriela opened the refrigerator door, trying to decide what she wanted to make for breakfast. As she pulled open the meat and cheese drawer, she saw a package of ham and fresh sliced cheddar cheese she had bought from the deli just two days before. “An omelet would be delicious,” she thought, with a smile.
She pulled the vegetable drawer out and saw a sweet yellow onion, green bell pepper, and fresh sliced mushrooms. She gathered them up in her arms along with the ham, cheese, eggs and butter. Her stomach growled as she balanced the food in her hands and carried them over to the counter. As she set the food down, the onion rolled away. She snagged it before it could roll off the edge and onto the floor.
Now comfortable that everything would stay put, Gabriela rubbed her hands together, and went to the cabinet to grab a medium size bowl, a whisk and headed back over to the counter. She swayed to the sink turning on the faucet and washed her hands, while humming lightly to Beethoven's "Moonlight." Continuing to hum as she chopped up the vegetables.
She turned on the stove, and added the butter. Once it began to melt, she tossed the onions and peppers into the hot pan. The aroma drifted up to her nose, and her stomach growled again as she sauteed the vegetables for a couple of minutes. Once sauteed, Gabriela removed them from the pan, and added the whisked eggs. She held the spatula while she cooked the eggs until they were set. She flipped the egg over and sprinkled the cheese and ham along with the sautéed vegetables onto it and folded the egg in half to cover the filling. Gabriela flipped the omelet once and then slid it onto a plate after a minute. Famished, she cut into it immediately and took a bite. She opened her mouth and fanned it, trying to cool it off and her eyes stung. She swallowed and felt the burning of her esophagus all the way down to the pit of her stomach. Hesitant to feel the burn again, she waited for it to cool down before she devoured it. "That was delicious," she said, and took a drink of her orange juice.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Roller Coaster



Have you ever been stuck on the top of a roller coaster?

My son and I took a trip across town to the amusement park for a fun-filled adventure we both needed. We arrived the moment they opened the doors and rode almost every ride within two hours, taking pictures with every laugh. Our laughter continued throughout the entire time while waiting for the rest of my family to join us.

We were definitely getting tired and ready to leave, but my son wanted to ride the roller coaster one last time. "Please mommy please," he said. I rolled my eyes and smiled while I gathered him in my arms, "Okay, bubby. One last ride."

The wait was long and he grew impatient. When we were almost at the front of the line, he had a change of heart. I said, "Oh, no. We've been standing in this line for almost twenty minutes and we are going to ride it." I laughed and tickled him. His laughter changed his mood and he jumped into my arms for a hug.

Finally we were next to ride and he excitedly said, "Mommy we are sitting in the front."

"Oh, no we're not," I laughed. But his pleading puppy dog eyes melted me and I sighed as I followed him to the very front seat. My brother and his wife sat in the seat behind us. I tried desperately to get my son to let my brother sit with him, but he refused to let go of me.

"No mommy, it's our day."

I smiled and sat down in the seat hugging him tight.

We took a couple of pictures and were ready for the wheels to turn. "Okay, here we go," my boy says as we start to move. We laugh together and I gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head. I had never been in the front or the back, always in the middle. My heart pounded hard in my chest as we began to go over that first hill and I screamed. Being in the front was definitely more intense. My adrenaline found it's peak and I looked over at my son to see him laughing hysterically. I laughed nervously and held on tight.

The roller coaster went smooth until the third and final turn when it stopped on the last incline. I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest at that moment. My son laughed at first until he realized we weren't going anywhere. When he began to panic, I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket and began taking pictures. Hoping to keep him laughing we carried on a conversation with my brother and his wife.

The attendants rushed with ladders and at first I thought they had planned on trying to get us down with them. I thought there's no way that ladder would reach us safely. They rolled out a second ladder which was more sturdy but no that wouldn't reach us either. After twenty minutes my son cried, "I want off this mommy. Get me down."

"I know baby. It won't be long," I said and kissed his forehead.

The sun beat down on us and I could feel my arms burning. The sunscreen was in my purse and that wasn't on this ride. I worried about him and took off my hat, put it on his head and pulled him to me. He curled the best he could into my arms and laid his head down on my shoulder. "Bubby, why don't you try to sleep, it may be awhile." I knew he was tired, that's why this was the last ride for us. But, he couldn't sleep with all the activity.
I saw my sisters and my mom down below and hollered out at them. "Hey why don't ya toss us a water." Anyone within hearing distance laughed.

I think making the best of a situation is the only thing you can do. Funny enough the attendants brought us cold bottles of water shortly after my request and that helped keep my son calm. My only worry now was if he had to use the restroom, what would we do?

Thirty minutes had passed and they found what caused the problem. The tire between the second and third car flattened. They continued to work and I heard the call being placed to the fire department. I had to laugh because I seem to attract fire trucks.

I heard the sirens and knew they were close. My view allowed me to see them come rushing down the street and into the park.

The main attendant, a young dark haired man with a sweet smile, shouted up to us. "Okay folks, hold on tight. We have to roll it backwards and we don't have any way to stop it."
That moment I know my heart was in my stomach. I was not one for roller coasters and here I was going to have to go backwards without breaks. It began to roll. The velocity of the fall was intense and I screamed from the top of my lungs and gripped the bar with both hands while my arms craddled my son as he screamed too, wrapping his arms around the bar. It didn't look as if it was going to stop, but I knew it had too. When it did, it began to go forward and the attendants were there to stop it. We jumped off the roller coaster and they gathered us together.

"Follow this man into the building. He has paperwork for you to fill out and congratulations, you now have a free season pass." The young cutie instructed with a smile, as he pointed to another attendant. We followed him in and collected our prize and then we went back out and continued to ride until the sun started to set.

Once in the car, I turn around and smile at my son. He says to me, Mmommy, next time we go can we sit in the front of the roller coaster again?"

I laughed amazed he would brave the coaster still and answered him, "Yes, bubby. That was a thrill."

Monday, May 3, 2010

Cantankerous

Dictionary: marked by ill humor, irritability and determination.

A story... this one is quite true and my uncle will back it up one hundred percent. I know he won't care that I share this with you.


Growing up is always tough in a large family. What's worse? Your aunt finding that boyfriend that you want to hide from.

I remember going to a family function at my grandma's and playing volleyball in her enormous backyard. The younger generation, including me, decided to play baseball in the front yard while the adults continued to play volleyball.

While we were playing, the infamous uncle strode towards us. "Hey give me the ball," he says with that wicked smirk that makes me gulp.

My heart starts racing. I no longer have a desire to play, but we give him the ball. He drops it to the ground and walks over to the pear tree. He yanks the pears, which are rotten, off the tree and begins pitching them at us. Aiming for our legs, arms, head, whatever he could hit, laughing as he threw them.

This is just one of many stories I could tell you. But I will save my stories for another time.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Denial

Dictionary: the refusal to admit the truth...

I believe that some of my friends believe I live in a world of denial. This would seem true since I am always positive and refuse to wear my emotions on my sleeve. But, I don't see it...

I can tell you of a soul that is in complete denial and I feel for that one. If they could only wake up and try to cope with what has happened, and what is not possible, then maybe they could find themselves climbing out of that deep dark hole and find out that there's life waiting for them.

A story...

A young girl fooled by the charm of her boyfriend runs away from home and marries him. The act of betrayal happens almost instantly when he beds with another woman. She ignores it as if it never happened because she's pregnant. Living in a lie for years only to keep her family together, smiling because of her children. Everyone knew he was an adulterer, but she turned her nose up believing her life couldn't get any better than what it was and that she was happy. She found herself reaching for the bottle of booze, pouring a single glass. At first just a couple nights a week and then every night. As the days went on she drank a second glass each night. After several months, she realized she was bitter and drinking her life away. Her children noticed it, and so did her husband who grew tired of her inability to pull herself together. She began to think, maybe it would be better to leave. To find peace within her. And so she did. The End.

In the end, we all wake up from denial. But at what risk? There's the poor souls who think that without their mate they have no chance at happiness and take their lives. Or turn to the bottle, which I have done a time or two in my life.

We don't have to drown ourselves in self pity. We have to open our eyes and see the beauty life has to offer. I am at peace with my soul now, and only wish I had done this years prior.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Lyana Jo's Borrowed Sweet Lyrics Mix

I'm at it again... thought I'd sweeten it up a bit.

I want to see ya, I'd like to meet ya
Just one word from your mouth was all I needed to be certain
Just one touch from your hand was enough to make me falter
move with me I'm strong enough to be real in your arms
you and I fit together like a lock and key
Now I can see things for what they really are
there's gonna be some ups and downs but with you to wrap my arms around I'm fine
I can't believe I finally found you baby happy ever after, after all this time
I guess I'm ready I'm ready to love again